If you live in popular tourist destinations, then you understand the frustration of trying to drive around the city. You try to go to the beach, but it’s crowded with tourists. You try to get to an appointment on time, but traffic is too congested.
Everyone who lives in tourist cities deals with this struggle. However, there are times when you might encounter a tourist who has no idea what he/she is doing. They’re lost, or they don’t follow the rules. It’s obvious just by watching them that they’re tourists.
These stories are only 35 of the most hilarious, yet ridiculous, moments when local residents can’t believe what these tourists did. How would you react to these events?
35. They Were Ready To Celebrate
My older brother lives in Celebration, FL. Back when it was first designed and built, people didn’t seem to understand exactly what it was. Was it a tourist attraction? A park? A town?
Some of my brother’s friends related a time when they were sitting down for dinner and, having forgotten to lock their front door, were greeted by some tourists who decided to just walk around inside their apartment. The visitors had to be told that, no, this isn’t a tourist attraction. It’s a real home and real people live here, so please leave.
34. They Fall For It Every Time
I work at a beach and people always complain about the seaweed that washes up, and they believe me when I say that there’s a seaweed filter in the jetty (which is a formation of huge rocks jetting out into the ocean to collect sand on one side) and that it was broken and it, instead of sucking the seaweed in, it’s shooting it out and the part that would fix it comes from Japan and it’s going to be fixed in three weeks. Tourists believe this every time.
33. They Went To The Wrong Cathedral
I live near the city of Wells in Somerset, famous for its lovely cathedral. Often you see tourists walking back to the coach muttering “It’s not a very big cathedral” and then you realize, from the direction they’ve walked, that they’ve actually been looking at St. Cuthbert’s church at the bottom of the city, instead of the cathedral at the top.
32. She Bought The Story
Worked at a ski area in western NC and had a lady from Florida ask me what we did with all the snow in the summertime. Told her we trucked it all into a refrigerated cave and she bought it.
31. It’s A Good Thing The Mother Wasn’t Around
Used to live in a very popular destination for exotic vacations. The one time that I will always remember is the time I went to the local shopping mall and eavesdropped into a conversation with some people showing safari pictures. They were showing pictures of them holding lion cubs. They were explaining how they saw baby lions without their mother and decided to get out of their car and picked them up for pictures. I cannot believe how stupid some people are.
30. She Ruined His Coffee
I used to be a street artist in the New Orleans French Quarter. One day I’m sitting by my paintings, reading a book and some lady came up and put a dollar in my coffee. I guess she thought I was begging. Her heart was in the right place, but she ruined my coffee.
29. They Trusted The Bear
We had a Japanese couple put their toddler on the back of a baby black bear that was mulling about on the side of the highway.
Natural selection was unfortunately not invoked in this instance.
28. They Thought It Was An Historical Monument
I live in a very rural, historic-colonial area in New England. Every Fall we get hoards of leaf peepers. That’s slang for people from the city (New York, Boston, etc.) who come up north to look at all the pretty colors as the trees change.
My town has one of the longest, oldest covered bridges in the country. It’s still in use for road traffic and is one of the only bridges over the Connecticut River for a few miles.
The majority of leaf-peepers assume because the bridge is old, it’s a historical landmark and is open for exploration. So many times I’ll try to cross that bridge only to stop before a group of five to six people freaking out because they just assumed it’s for foot traffic.
These same types of people, when they try to then cross that bridge with their cars after learning that’s what it’s for, will still almost cause accidents. It’s an ancient wooden structure with minimal lighting and very narrow lanes. Tourists get nervous driving so close to the walls, so they drive down the middle and get stuck when confronted with on-coming traffic.
Historical structures that are still in common use bewilder and terrify people not familiar with this concept. Also, tourists will assume anything with a historical placard that isn’t fenced off is fair game to climb all over.
27. They Didn’t Think They Had To Drive Far
I live near the Gold Coast and there are thousands of tourists all year round there. I was in the mountains (Mt Tambourine to be precise) out the back of the coast on a 4WD track when we hear this car plowing its way up this track. A couple of mins later, along comes a Toyota Camry filled with Japanese tourists who had just landed and were on their way to Uluru for the day. Now for those not familiar with the layout of Oz, Uluru is far far far from a day trip from the Goldie, like many thousands of kilometers far. These tourists thought that because it was only this [………] far on a map then it was just over there. Not so.
Within 40 mins of getting out of the airport, they were lost going up a 4wd only track in a Camry with only a couple of bottles of water to get halfway across the country. We eventually persuaded them to turn around and go back to surfer paradise and actually pay attention to how big and isolated Australia is before they embark on a death mission.
26. Confusion At Niagara Falls
When I was 14, I worked for the Parks Commission in Niagara Falls. I’ve been asked a lot of dumb tourist questions during my time there, but there’s two that really take the cake.
“Does the Maid of the Mist ride up the falls?” Asked by a grown man. I could understand a five-year-old child with no understanding of physics, but seriously no adult should ever ask that question.
“Which falls belongs to what country?” Asked by a large Texan (I could tell by the accent and the huge belt buckle). I told him that the Horseshoe Falls was in Canada and the American and Bridal Veil falls were in the US. “NO!” he shouts back to me. “The larger one belongs to the US because everything in the US is bigger!”. “Umm ok” I squeaked out. He must have been looking for a fight.
25. They Ruined The Fun For Everyone
Grew up and went to high school in Moab, Utah (the most beautiful place on earth). I was talking with the family that owned the land around a popular Jeeping attraction (lion’s back). They charged something minimal like $5 to cross their land and Jeep the rock. Lion’s back is a fun, easy rock that looks very impressive- you drive up slowly, turn around on top, and drive back down. Anyway, some people had shown up while the family taking money was gone for lunch, and these guys decided to just cross anyway and go up the rock. Once they got to the top, they decided that instead of turning around and going back down and potentially having to pay on the way out, they would drive down the back (not recommended!). Well, they made a mistake, drove off the side somehow, and were both crushed inside their jeep. The family had no idea they were back there since they’d snuck in to save $5. They only found them after what was assumed to be a couple weeks because they got curious why there were suddenly so many crows and hiked out to investigate. Now they’ve closed their land and you can’t jeep lion’s back anymore :/
It may be the most beautiful place on earth, but you’ve got to respect it, man!
24. Too Many Shoppers
I live close to the Mall of America, and I hardly ever go there because of all the tourists. Some of them even bring their luggage to the mall with them.
They want to take pictures of everything, so you have to always keep watch to make sure you’re not photo-bombing someone.
Then, there’s the whole “lots of people from different countries bringing some sickness with them that I’m not immune to”. It’s not terrible, but it’s a breeding ground for new illnesses and bad colds. I’m not saying that those from out of the country are all sick or anything, just that different countries have different sicknesses that not everyone is used to.
Because they haven’t been to the mall before, they’re slow walkers and take up the entire hallway so we locals can’t get to the shop we want to.
It sounds like I’m some old curmudgeon, but on slower days, the mall can be quite nice. Great place to look for a gift, as there are so many stores there. Great place to go walking in the morning, and lots of good people-watching.
It’s just the busy days or holiday season(s) that make me avoid the place like the plague.
23. They Have Never Seen Waves
Down at the beach, see some very pasty tourists, probably from Iowa or Kansas or somewhere in the middle of a cornfield. They are completely confused about waves. Like, they’re standing ankle deep a few feet from the shore, a tiny wave ebbs up, they stagger back and yell something like “WOW!” or “OOPS!”. Wave goes away, they inch forward again. Mind you these weren’t even waves, you could make bigger flows in your bathtub. And yet these people were completely astounded by the concept.
22. Stop Putting Residents In Danger
I’m in New Hampshire and every autumn people travel here to see the foliage. The colors can be spectacular sometimes so I understand why people want to see them, but some leaf peepers drive recklessly. They’ll drive 40mph in a 70mph zone, they’ll suddenly stop if they see something they like, and the worst is when people will pull over on the side of the highway and walk around taking pictures.
There are plenty of places up north that were developed for tourists and they offer great views. Stop putting people in danger by unnecessarily driving slow or stopping on the highway.
21. He Had To Take A Picture
On the top of the Sunshine Skyway Bridge in Florida, I saw these tourists in a convertible Mustang doing the most amazingly stupid thing. The driver was rolling along at about 40mph so that his passenger, who was standing straight up in the vehicle, could take photos.
20. They Just Didn’t Understand
I did harbor tours on a paddlewheeler boat in the Pacific Northwest. I used to greet tourists before the tour on the dock and invite them to head over to the paddle wheel boat on their left, which was very large and in full view. One angry woman told me she didn’t just pay $30 to paddle her own boat.
Another asked me if we have boats that sweep the ocean floor to keep it clean for us because the ocean was so clean.
Another asked my co-worker on the boat tour how far above sea level they were. On a boat. In the ocean.
19. The North Pole Is Definitely “North”
My sister went to school in a non-holiday destination (Sudbury, Ontario, Canada). We were visiting her once and tourists came up to us and asked directions for the north pole. We just kinda stood there confused, and then my sister went “Uhh… North?”. Not sure where they went/what happened to them but we laugh about this every now and then.
18. They Need To Do Something About The Wildlife
Grew up in Colorado, near some touristy ski towns.
Of course, we’re in the frigging Rockies, and we’re rural— there is wildlife to spare. Elk, cougar, bear, deer, raccoon, foxes, coyotes, bighorns, you name it. No wolves back then, they’d been expatriated for a while. But you’d have people throwing fits occasionally because the city should have “done something” about those elk wandering through the roads tying up traffic. Like, chill out. We have a hunting season, what else you want?
17. Who Knew Ice Melts?
Northern Michigan here. Love it when people from the cities park their F350’s on the ice without checking the thickness and their trucks fall through. Then they call their insurance company only to find out their coverage went void as soon as they drove out on the lake. Then they find out it’s going to cost $1000 to get their truck out of the lake. All this is, of course, before the Department of Natural Resources starts writing tickets for polluting the lake.
16. It’s All French To Me!
My girlfriend used to live in France and she said the most common, irritating tourist thing was just the total lack of any attempt to speak French. Yes, English is widespread, but not everybody can speak it or speak it well enough to understand your specific requests. No, talking louder doesn’t make them understand English any better.
15. You Can See England From Here
I’ve lived in southern Maine/seacoast New Hampshire all my life. One year I was working at a restaurant on Hampton Beach (which is a garbage can of tourists to begin with). From the deck of our restaurant, you could see the isles of shoals (a small group of islands about seven-ish miles from shore). I had this one couple ask me if the islands were England. Why yes! From this deck and this deck only you can see up and over 3,200 miles to mighty England! Oh, and you see that big boat with the lights on it? That is most certainly not the coast guard, but the Queen doing her daily yachting! Also from the beach you can see the local power plant…. I had a different couple the same day ask me what memorial it was. They totally bought it when I told them, Maude Flanders.
14. Los Angeles Is Farther Away Than You Think
My friends and I hosted French exchange students in high school. They were middle class, but on weekends they would go to like Amsterdam or Bruges or like Rome and other European cities.
I live in Chicago and some kid asked my friend (the kid’s host) if we could visit Los Angeles for the weekend. We were like yeah we’ll just pull out our teleportation devices and have ourselves a fun weekend.
13. Where’s All The Snow?
People always think that they can come over here to Colorado to ski all year around. Needless to say, they are often disappointed by the total lack of snow on the ground.
12. Arguing With Spider-Man
Go to Disneyland about every week or so and I heard this grandmother blame a cast member about how long each family was taking to meet Spiderman. She suggested they enforce a three-minute maximum for character meet and greets.
11. Maybe… Don’t Be A Teacher
I live near Lake Tahoe and it’s endless here. I worked on the lake in the summer and had a 50+-year-old woman explaining to me how “it’s SO amazing that this is at sea level!” I said, “No, we’re over 6,000 feet above sea level. This is a lake.” She proceeded to make her hands into a V shape to represent the mountains and said, “Yeah, but all water on Earth levels out and is on the same plane!” Her daughter shook her head and looked at me and said, “Sorry… she’s a teacher too.” In the winter, we regularly have people ask where we store the moguls in the summer… I tell them we put them in the lake.
10. Let’s Take A Quick Train Ride
I live in Gatlinburg, TN, and work at a resort. We’ve recently started getting more European tourists and I overhear some of them say to other guests that they are thinking of catching the train (we have some tourist trains that ride you around town and a Norfolk Southern rail line) to DC or Philly.
At first, I laugh in my head, but then I realize they are used to having that kind of travel at their fingertips. I want a more reliable train service between big cities.
9. They Didn’t Listen And Regretted It Later
I use to live in a state in the southern US just a half hour or so from very popular/touristy beaches.
We had friends and family that came to visit all the time and we would always warn them to wear sunscreen and drink plenty of water.
They all would tell us they could handle it and then proceed to spend at least a few days of their trip sitting on the couch and recovering from sunburn and dehydration.
8. He Wanted To See Derek Jeter
I used to live in Tampa. I was walking my dog when some tourist pulled up in a car asking where Derek Jeter’s house was. I gave them directions and I left. Two blocks later they returned and followed me home screaming at me the whole way for giving them the wrong directions. After they left I mapped out the route. I gave them the right directions.
7. It Was Just A Stingray
In Florida, I was swimming at the beach and a stingray decided to hang out with everyone. It was there almost every day I went to the beach and never bothered anyone. This family started screaming and kicking around because of it. It was just chilling, man. Leave it be.
6. Traveling To Their House
Some lady parked her car in front of our house, took out a bunch of art supplies, and started painting a canvas of one of the old outbuildings. My place is on a scenic byway so we see lots of summer tourists, but that was… different. I mean, the house is right there, she could have maybe walked up and said hi or something first.
We also frequently get tourists stopping in the road during the summer to take photos of the deer and elk in the backyard apple trees. We wave from the back porch.
5. Just A Simple Bike Ride (Not)
I went out for a bike ride one day but the tourists were so thick on the river walk that I couldn’t get through them to get to the road out of town. I decided to try the streets instead but there was a farmer’s market in progress so it was the same situation. I tried walking the bike, I tried the roads, I tried the sidewalks. After about an hour I just turned around and went home.
4. Remember The Alamo
Houston’s not really a holiday destination but we had some friends from out of town that had never been to Texas. My wife and I asked what they wanted to do one Saturday and they said: “Why don’t we drive on over to San Antonio to see the Alamo.” Not realizing it’s a three-hour drive.
3. The Dog Was A Star
I worked in San Francisco right by Chinatown so lots of tourists all the time. One day I was taking my dog out for a quick pee when this lady with her two kids asked if I would take a pic of them with my dog. I did. I wonder where she is now.
2. Risking Their Life For A Selfie
I live on the street that leads up to the Hollywood sign. It’s a pretty busy street serving as the main access point to a large residential neighborhood. Of course, that doesn’t stop tourists from standing in the middle of the road while they take 400 selfies.
There are plenty of safe locations to get your selfie on. There’s no reason to do something so dangerous.
1. Key West Used To Be Unique
Key West, born and raised. Tourists would always ask for directions to their favorite chain restaurants, stores, and boutiques when they don’t realize that homegrown mom and pop stores often sit in place of those franchises. At least, that’s how it was when I lived there. Now, the franchises are starting to take over. Sad.