Have you ever had the urge to look through your spouse’s phone? Have you ever actually done it, only to find something that didn’t sit well with you? Ideally, when people are in a happy, healthy relationship, they don’t experience the need to snoop; they have mutual trust and respect for one another’s privacy and don’t find it necessary to go looking for evidence of infidelity. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.
Whether warranted or not, suspicions of cheating can be quite consuming for the suspecting party. Of course, learning that you’ve been right to be concerned and confirming that you’ve been betrayed by your partner can be devastating and heartbreaking (to say the least).
However, just because you suspect something is up, doesn’t always mean your partner is cheating. Just take it from the following people, who recently shared stories about the time they thought their spouse was cheating, only to learn how wrong they were.
45. Quite A Drag
I was in college and there was a big drag show on campus, and for fun, a good (gay) friend of mine decided to enter, so we swapped clothes. I wore some of his stuff and he wore mine. At the show, I got a little intoxicated and performative onstage. Anyway, he texted me the next day and said, “You were amazing last night. Do you mind if I come by and get my clothes that I left at your place?” My boyfriend of the time saw it and I admit it looked pretty suspicious.
44. Self Blame
I once suspected my girlfriend was cheating and I looked at her phone bill (horrible idea) and became suspicious at a number she texted hundreds of times in the middle of the night. It was MY number I had recently changed. Idiot.
43. Learning To Drive
When my grandparents were young, my granddad suddenly used to come home late, having weird excuses for it. My grandmother was sure he had ‘another’ but didn’t say anything – kids and all. One day he came home with a car, as a surprise. He was learning to drive. They’ve been happily married until he died two years ago, age 97.
42. Suspicious Snap
41. Intimate Emails
Came out of the shower to my girlfriend (at the time) shouting, “Who in the world is Georgia Calendar and why is she messaging you?” I had a notification from Google Calendar. To be clear, she wasn’t as unhinged as she sounds here, just under stress at the time. We cleared it up pretty quickly and had a laugh.
40. Wrapping It Up
Nothing to do with a cell phone, but we use condoms at work to hold metal powder in tubes. Came home while my wife was doing laundry. She asked me why there were condom wrappers in my work pants.
39. Taking It Outside
Ever since I have had a phone, almost every girlfriend (and one ex-wife) I have had has accused me of hiding something because I leave the room to talk on the phone (actually usually go outside). Really, I think that it is impolite to talk to somebody on the phone with other people in the room, especially if they are doing something (but really I find it annoying when I can only hear one side of the conversation).
38. The Dark Side
Looking through home furnishings on Pinterest with my boyfriend on his phone one night and I see a girl’s selfie in his camera roll who certainly wasn’t me. I asked him about it immediately and he looked at me confused and reminded me it was a photo of me — I had darkened my hair and hated it so much I changed it back a couple of days later. I’d sent him a selfie so he could weigh in and forgot about it, but I sure was prepared to fight brunette me for a minute.
37. Triple Threat
He makes fun of me for this, but having been cheated on in the past (not by him) I’m a little… well, paranoid. His phone blinked and it was a PS4 message from some chick whose last three letters were like, xXx or something equally shady. I said nothing until a few days later when his phone was blowing up with PS4 messages.
“Is that DirtyGirlXXX69?”
“Some chick messaging you on the PS4 the other day…”
I think he took great pride in showing me all the spammy stuff he gets. Obviously, I did not realize this was a thing. And now it’s something he will never let me forget.
36. Followed By The Photographer
When I proposed to my now wife I had booked a professional photographer to “follow” us to capture the proposal. Prior to us leaving our hotel room (I booked us a room at a hotel on the ocean and was going to propose on the beach), the photographer was texting me so she knew when we’d be coming down as to not arouse suspicion if my then girlfriend noticed some weirdo with a camera sulking about. My girlfriend kept asking me who is texting you. Kept telling her work. All went according to plan. Got amazing pictures and an amazing wife out of it.
35. Cat Call
I once made my girlfriend think I was cheating on her. I was walking outside the house to take calls, being rather evasive about who I was talking. Earlier in the week, my cat had got outside and ran away, and I spent the entire week going from house-to-house putting up fliers and asking if anyone had seen her. My last-ditch attempt was talking to a “pet psychic” that I’d met online and I was SUPER embarrassed that my girlfriend would find out I was talking to a pet psychic, hence why all the secrecy.
34. A Blonde Moment
I once found a blonde hair on my husband’s work shirt. It was a short one too. Some witch was doing my man that I didn’t know. Then I remembered my daughter has blonde hair… And short… And it matches her perfectly. He laughed at me for a long time.
33. Banking On It
He saw this number (glancing through the ‘minutes’ on our phone bill) that I called every other day around the same time, he cornered me, convinced that I was calling some dude? It was the bank. I called to check my debit card balance because it was before banks had apps and I was living paycheck to paycheck.
32. Stranger Danger
I was at a bar with my friend, when this girl walked up and asked to use my phone to text her boyfriend. Her’s was dead and she wanted him to meet her in front of the bar. Her text read, “Hey babe, meet me in front of Oteys.” Nothing about who she was or her phone being dead. That was a tough one to explain.
31. Gassed Up
My wife got up early for work one day and said she needed to fill up her car before work. Okay, no problem. She works approximately 12 miles away, so round trip should barely move the needle off of full. When she got home, I needed to take her car to the mechanic and noticed that the tank was a little more than 1/2 full. “What the…?!” I said to myself. Where did she go today?? Is she driving to meet someone?? I got home and asked why it was so empty? She said, “oh I read an article last night about credit card skimmers on gas pumps, so I took my card inside and told them to do $20.” Huh…What a perfectly reasonable explanation.
30. Teary-Eyed Surprise
Just screwing around one day I grabbed my wife’s phone and proceeded to unlock it. She jumped across the room to get to me. I then hid the phone behind my back in an almost playful but concerned manner and asked, “What are you hiding?” She wouldn’t say but also wouldn’t stop clawing for her phone. This went back and forth for a few minutes until she relented, threw her arms to her sides and with tears forming replied, “I’m pregnant!” She had taken a picture of the pregnancy test and was worried that I would have seen it. Although she planned to tell me, it didn’t go as she had hoped. I will never forget that day.
29. Makeup An Excuse
I found another woman’s bag of makeup in the passenger seat of our car the other day. Turned out, it was his mom’s. I forgot he had given his mom a ride to the store. Still, I was pretty upset for a minute or two there.
28. Fairytale Ending
My boyfriend, at the time, started acting weird working late and hiding his phone away from me, usually when he is driving and he gets a text he would ask me to get it and reply. However, he wouldn’t do that and took his phone everywhere with him, so I automatically panicked and thought he was cheating on me (I 100% trust him, I have my own anxiety issues) turns out he was messaging my mom and sister about plans to take me to Disney and propose…oops.
27. Birthday Blunder
My boyfriend mentioned he was going to a show with a female friend of his – on his birthday. I hadn’t concretely set up plans but I usually take him out or make a nice dinner on his birthday and give him presents. I remember being confused and annoyed that he would prioritize hanging out with this attractive girl over myself! At the time, I didn’t really suspect him of cheating, just being oblivious, but I finally broke down and asked him what the heck he was doing. Yeah. His birthday was the day after. I got his birthday wrong after 4+ years of knowing him.
26. Online Scandal
A few years ago, my mother came crying to my brother and I, she said, “I can’t believe what I found in your dad’s computer, go and look at it, he is cheating on me.” At first me and my brother found that super weird, my dad doesn’t have any social media accounts, and he wouldn’t leave the computer out in the open like that if he was indeed cheating.
We went to their room, Notebook open on their bed, first thought “ok, my dad is not so dumb that he would cheat on mom and leave the proof open on their bed.” As I got to the computer, the Pirate Bay was open, and I already knew what it was about, she saw one of those xxx ads and thought my dad was searching for prostitutes in his location, my brother and I started laughing like crazy, when my dad got home he also laughed a lot, that was one hell of a rollercoaster for her though.
25. Little Dull
Got in the shower and saw a mans disposable razor on the soap tray. Not my brand. Confronted her and she told me she had pulled it from our travel bag and used it to shave her legs as her razor was dull.
24. A Romantic Tinder Match
I saw my fiancée had downloaded Tinder again. I opened it, but I was the only match. Looked at her messages/Facebook messages and calls, but nothing out of the ordinary. I went back to Tinder and opened her chat with me, and saw that she had been messaging my account about things she loved about me and how I saved her from suicide.
23. Got Her Back
On his computer, I found a picture of a woman with her back to the camera. She was wearing a long, flowing black dress, holding a glass of wine on what appeared to be a large boat. I had no idea who this woman was, and why my husband had taken a picture of her. While I didn’t think he was cheating, I was really confused. I finally asked him about it. He said, “honey…that’s you from our cruise.” I had no idea he’d taken the pic and totally didn’t recognize myself!
22. Guy Talk
My husband has a group chat called “Buttsies.” After worrying he might be cheating or gay or curious (I’m a woman), I confronted him. Turned out his friends are just weirdos. It’s the name of the group chat they use to organize when they’ll all play Overwatch together.
21. Special Delivery
I had to get into my significant other’s email while he was out to sea (Navy) to mess with our Netflix account. The first thing in his inbox were half a dozen different “receipt” emails from flower stores, all with gift messages going to different women. He was one of the only people who got to go ashore when they’d last pulled in, so he took money from a bunch of the guys he works with to send flowers to all their wives. I didn’t really suspect anything untoward, but it made me laugh, in an “If I were the suspicious sort, you’d be in so much trouble!” way.
20. All Adds Up
I’m sure my ex thought she found something when I got a notification that asked, ” Is it hard?” It was a classmate asking about the math homework. Nothing got us heated more than talking about sines and cosines
19. Big Appetite
I was once laying my head on my significant other’s lap as he sat on the couch and I was stretched out next to him. He was watching TV and I was scrolling through Facebook. A friend of mine had posted a picture from the perspective of her own eyes, as she laid bikini-clad on a beach chair. I stopped scrolling to look at the picture, and after a second or so my significant other says in an incredibly lustful tone, “God, I could really tear into that right now.” Boy, I saw HIS life flash before my eyes. I shouted, “What the heck?! What’s wrong with you?!” He seemed shocked and defensive. After a few seconds of confusion on both ends, he pointed to the TV. There was a Hardee’s commercial on, with sexy close-up shots of a double bacon cheeseburger. He had been lusting after the burger.
18. Off The Chain
My wife found a woman’s necklace under our bed. I could not figure out how it got there. But she had a pretty strong suspicion that something was up. Best I could come up with was that our short-term tenants from the summer before had lost it and it had been sitting there for a year. That’s plausible, right? She was not persuaded. Both plausible and accurate. I emailed them and they confirmed it was theirs. Thank GOD.
17. Frozen In Place
Did a find my iPhone on my wife because she was very late coming home. She was on the other side of town where we knew no one. Thoughts in my head of cheating. What the heck is she doing over there? She finally came home so I confronted her. She had a startled look on her face which was guilty. Turns out she was getting a botox treatment and didn’t want me to know. Ouch.
16. Perfect Harmony
My wife stopped talking to me about halfway through a baseball game. Later, when we were alone, she confronted me about a dating app I had on my phone. I had to explain to her that my Harmony “dating app” is for Logitech universal remotes and not eHarmony. We had a good laugh.
15. Just A Test
“Luca sent you a message” multiple times per week. Icon looks not like any texting app I know (WhatsApp, SMS, Telegram, whatever). Being a reasonable person I check with her who is this Luca. Turns out there’s an app that reminds you to perform a mammography on yourself at regular intervals and you can choose a model type who will write you regularly to remind you to massage your boobs. Genius.
14. Charlotte’s Web
Spent a lot of time in a relationship with a chronic cheater. I’m now in a relationship with someone who is actually a respectable human being. When we first started dating, I couldn’t let old habits die and I went through his text messages. Found one going on and on about how beautiful someone named Charlotte was. I died inside. Turns out it was his friend’s newborn baby. Lesson learned: I’m a jerk, he is not.
13. Spicing It Up
He had a text from an unsaved phone number. It said, “His isn’t as big as yours. Yours was GOOD and HUGE.” His reply was, “Bigly, eh?” Turns out it was a guy he works with talking about tamales.
12. A Timely Affair
My wife found a contact in my phone for “Ashley Maddison” literally the week after the hacking scandal. She’s the wife of the new assistant pastor at our church that my wife hadn’t met yet. I was texting her because I was going to meet the moving truck at their house for them when they moved in.
11. Big Surprise
My wife started acting really sneaky for some weeks: having to suddenly go out with her friends, asking for money for her own “private spending”, getting home from work really late. The last straw was that suddenly she locked her phone. (We always kept our phones unlocked and knew each other passwords, because we were really respectful of each other’s privacy.) But she had begun responding to messages at night, taking phone calls outside the house, and that kind of stuff. The very day that I was going to ask her what was happening she threw me a surprise birthday party like 10 days before my actual birthday because on those days she booked a vacation to the beach, secretly negotiated vacation days with my boss, and got a granny to take care of the kids. All under my nose.
10. Add It To The Mood Board
I was looking at something on Reddit with my girlfriend on her phone, and suddenly this app notification pops up with “You’ve matched with Tom!” or something. We’ve been together for years, so I’ve not seen Tinder, but I’ve heard of it. For about three seconds I was silently furious. So I tapped the notification, and it brought up Pinterest. Turns out Pinterest matches you with people with similar interests or something. I think that’s the quickest I’ve gone through such a range of intense emotions.
9. Family Photos
When my aunt got her first phone with a camera, my 12-year-old cousin loved using it to take pictures and one day decided to take a picture of his junk. Some time later, my uncle was looking through my aunt’s photos to find a picture of the family he wanted to have printed. He saw the pic of my cousin’s johnson and immediately got upset, started yelling, crying, the whole nine. My aunt had no clue how a picture of someone’s junk ended up on her phone. They were arguing in the kitchen when my cousin walks in, sees the picture (my uncle was holding the phone while yelling), casually says, “Hey, that’s a picture of my junk!” and then walks out of the room. My aunt and uncle just stared at each other for a few minutes before going to have a talk with my cousin.
8. What A Meatball
A buddy of mine and his wife had this text exchange; he at work, her in her car using voice to text (that reads it back to you before sending). Her: What are we doing for dinner? Should I stop at the store and get something or order sandwiches? Him: That works. Her: Do you want me, Paul? Him: who’s Paul? Her: meatball, meatball, do you want me, Paul? They laughed and laughed
7. On A Mission
We’re not married but we’ve been together for eight years. Recently, her phone started going off at weird times of the night and she’d always shuffle about to answer it. It seemed suspicious because I’ve seen her sleep through phone calls from hospitals, her parents, and everyone else. Nothing gets her moving if she doesn’t want to. After a week or two, her phone was vibrating and she actually didn’t wake up for once. I couldn’t help myself and had a peak. She had started playing Simpsons Tapped Out again on her phone, all the vibrations were her characters coming back from missions and what not. Turned out she wasn’t keeping secrets or hiding anything, she just wanted to get the missions done without spending money on speeding the game up.
6. Operation Half-Price Cake
I was the one accused actually. We both grew up super lower income and when we first started dating we went to a huge birthday party and started talking about how we never had a big party like this growing up. So when her first birthday of our relationship came around, I snuck around for a week I came off super shady I guess.
Throwing her a huge surprise party I saved like three weeks of pay from a crappy delivery driver job. I was careful to never text anyone with the word party so I texted a mutual friend who worked at a really nice bakery who was sneaking me an expensive cake for half price. “(girlfriend) is heading to work can I come now?” she replied, “yeah my boss is gone for a bit so make it quick.” My girlfriend came to break up with me and walked into a surprise party. Still together six years later.
5. Picture Evidence
One night, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, just having some casual conversation while he scrolled through his phone. I turned over to look at him and I happened to see what was on his phone screen. It was clearly Tinder messenger. Looking up onto the corner of the screen, I see his picture. I jump out of bed and start screaming: “ARE YOU REALLY SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME IN BED ON FREAKING TINDER?!” He just looked at me, all terrified and clueless.
He was like, “No, see, it’s just pictures!” It was pictures of screenshots his twin brother sent him of his own tinder conversations asking for advice. I’ve never experienced such intense rage and intense regret as I did in those two minutes.
4. Marco Polo
My husband and I were traveling separately to meet in a shopping mall. We both thought we were talking about the same place when we said we would meet at the food court, but there are two food courts and we were in different ones. I texted him “Marco?” From his point of view I was 20 mins late to meet him at the mall and suddenly mysteriously texting men he doesn’t know. Apparently, they don’t play Marco Polo in Australia.
3. On Alert
My wife and I don’t have cellphones. One night, while we were sleeping, I hear the sound that you get when you receive a text. I started thinking that she had a secret phone and she had received a text from someone. She was obviously having an affair. And to top it off, I am finding out about this on my birthday. Then I thought… wait a second, she probably got me a cellphone for my birthday, left it on, and it somehow received a text. So I went back to sleep. Then I got my present and it wasn’t a cellphone. I waited until she was taking a shower that night, and then I went looking around our bedroom for her secret phone. I could not find it but I did find a tablet on my dresser that had just updated.
2. Toying Around
I normally don’t go through my wife’s phone EVER, but I saw a text pop up one day that made me almost flip out. She got a text from one of her female friends that said, “Are you bringing your toy tonight? I’m bringing mine. I hope it’s good enough. I’ve never done this before.” Being that I’ve got four ex-girlfriends who immediately started dating women after breaking up with me, I got very worried. So I opened up her text history, hoping for some kind of context to that initial message, but it was just a constant back and forth of them talking about their “toys.” I later found out that it was a Toys for Tots thing at their night school. They legitimately went out and bought actual toys for actual children.
1. Not So Fast
I saw the previews of my boyfriend’s text conversations and the preview said: “No (my name) is not here right now, come pick me up.” He was sending it to an unsaved number and I was like… what the heck?! So I asked, “What the heck is this? You didn’t tell me you were with anyone while I was at work.” He was like look up that phone number in YOUR phone. It was his mom’s number. The twist to the story was he was cheating on me. If I looked in his Google play history and saw all those dating apps, then I would have known.