You ever have a guest come over and just spend the duration of the visit eating all your food directly out of the fridge, even though you never offered him anything? Or maybe you invite a cute girl over and she just starts digging through your medicine cabinet. These are what we call “Bad Guests”
And somehow, basic human decency was lost on these people. Maybe their parents never taught them right from wrong, maybe they were literally raised by wolves, or maybe they are just stupid jerks. The world may never know.
But we have the internet now, and it’s nothing if not a perfect tool to complain about these jerks in a public forum behind their backs!
Look, they probably deserve it. They started it, after all.
31. That’s probably why he’s got marital problems
My wife’s cousin was staying at our house because he as going through marital problems. One night I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard some change rattling. He walks down the hall with my 5 year old’s piggy bank. He was taking money from my daughter’s piggy bank to buy drinks and smokes.
30. Should have dumped her into a taxi the night before
A friend brought a guest to a party I was having. The friend knew I didn’t really like her guest and I asked her not to bring her. She did anyway.
Unwelcome guest proceeds to party too hard, then pass out on the couch really early. For some reason, my friend leaves without taking the unwelcome guest with her.
Wake up the next morning, the unwelcome guest has opened up one of the leftover bottles from the night before and she’s also carved a pipe out of a potato or carrot or something and was smoking on our couch.
29. One day you are stealing video games, the next you are shooting cops
When I was a kid my mom had a friend and her son over. They were over for a couple of hours and just as they were leaving I noticed all of my video games were gone, I told my mom, she goes grabs his backpack and of course, they were all in his bag.
His mother immediately came to his defense, saying he’s got a lot of games and must have thought they were his. It didn’t even make sense and she acted as if nothing had happened.
Anyway, terrible mother, the kid had no chance. He is now in jail for life no parole for shooting a police officer.
28. You don’t “fix” a rental
My mother in law came to visit my then boyfriend and I. We were in a rental that had a weird little bathroom that the rest of the house made up for. But I got up in the morning and went to the gym and grabbed some food to make dinner. When I got home, I went to shower and she has taken down the bathroom mirror (which came with the rental) and put up a new one that was really ugly and too small. I wrapped myself in a towel and switched it back. She asked me why I did that and I told her it wasn’t my mirror and gave her the other one back.
27. That is not a victory royale
Years ago, my then boyfriend (now ex) came over to my house unexpected the day of my mom’s birthday. My siblings and I were busy decorating. He made himself comfortable on the couch and played on the Xbox, he was out of the way so I ignored him. Just before she gets home I make him turn off the console. Mom gets home and we do the whole “Surprise!” bit. Ex immediately (like, my mom hadn’t even gotten past the entryway) grabbed the controller, turned the Xbox on, slapped my butt and told me to “get him a drink” as he sat back down on the couch. I snatched the controller out of his hands and told him to go home.
26. There’s probably a reason all your friends keep getting kicked out of their houses
A friend of mine was kicked out of his house, I decided to ask my mom if it was okay if he’d stay for 2 weeks. That was fine, after 4 days we threw him out. Why?
Every night he started making food, his own? He took it out of our fridge and just made something that he found nice looking, he ate roughly 1 week of food in 3 days.
Well then, he went on to one of my best friends. Again, 1 week? Sure, he took it further with them. Making food at night, out of their own refrigerator. If he didn’t like something? He didn’t put it back, no he left it on the kitchen top. They have cats, one of them got sick, nearly died.
I haven’t spoken to the guy in 4 years, and I’m glad that I am not talking to him anymore.
A really good friend of mine was also kicked out of the house by his mom, he couldn’t live with his girlfriend, he came over for years prior to that so my mom was the first to say, sure!
The guy behaved like an angel, until… His girlfriend was also “Kicked” out of the house, riigghhtt. She could stay with us for a week.
2 days into this my mom made food with her last few bucks, the girl looked at it said: “No, I’m sorry, not gonna eat that…” She then demanded that her boyfriend took her to some fancy restaurant and she left.
My mom was crying with anger over that, and that was the last thing we ever saw from them because as soon as they got home my mom told the girl to leave, the guy could stay, and of course, they didn’t want that. So they ended up sleeping at some 30 sqft shed in her dad’s backyard.
25. She sounds like a real keeper
A friend of my housemate invited a bunch of sleazy guys over, despite me asking her not to. She let them in while I was in the shower, so I did not realize they were in my house. She then took one into my housemate’s bedroom and locked the door (super disrespectful to my housemate who had so kindly offered that she could stay in her room as she was going to be at her boyfriend’s for the weekend). When I got out of the shower one of the guys was in my bed! And I was like dude, get out of my bedroom. And he refused and said my friend said he could stay there. I was very not ok with that. I physically had to push him out of my house. The next day when she sobered up, I kicked her out of my house and did not speak to her for three years.
24. This is a prime “Oh no the neighbors must have called the cops” opportunity
I had the house to myself and asked a distant friend to come over for some drinks. He brought up some other people with him. They stayed at my place for three days, and I had to stay awake for 72 hours cleaning and making sure nothing breaks. The dude locked me out of my room, sleeping there with two girls I didn’t invite. Later, when I got them to leave, a dude who brought a Hookah was dumb enough to lift it from the top, and a vase full of black water broke all over the living room, and I had to clean after all of them. I then proceeded to sleep for around 26 hours and woke up totally disoriented. My parents, later on, told me they realized what happened, were angry but did not punish me. I never spoke to him again.
I know I should’ve kicked them or call the cops, but well, 16yo me was stupid and naive, hoping to just clean up after and forget about the ordeal.
23. Who spends $800 getting something framed? I’ll do it for like, half that
I went to China and Japan for a month. My mother and her housekeeper cleaned my house from top to bottom, threw out everything in my pantry to restock it with the things she liked to cook with, rearranged every room and redecorated it to how she liked it. Oh and she went through my clothes and threw out all of my old t-shirts – you know, the kind people save for sentimental reasons
Well, the joke is on her a little bit. She found a $15 scarf painted with a scene from the Ramayana. Thinking I could afford something precious, she spent $800 having it framed.
She still tells this story thinking it makes her look good but everyone looks horrified and she doesn’t see that.
I changed my locks before the jet lag wore off. It’s been 15 years and my mother does not have an emergency key to my home. But my husband’s mom does!
22. SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOOOOOOOT
I met a cute girl through work. We got along pretty well and there was definitely flirting involved and I eventually got up the nerve to ask her out on a date. We get drinks and as things do, we ended up at my place. As I’m mixing up a couple of cocktails she just starts opening things, drawers, cabinets, my deep freeze. It took me a couple of seconds to fully grasp what she was doing and when I asked what she was doing. “Just seeing whatchu got” was her explanation. After that, I decided to keep our relationship strictly professional.
21. That’s beyond creepy
High school: Dad’s girlfriend was visiting while I was out. She went into my bathroom (mind you, the upstairs was all mine, so she had to go out of her way to do this), and went to town trying out my makeup. I had to replace about $100 worth of eye makeup.
About three years ago, I was living with my grandmother in what passes for a nice apartment around here. She was good buddies with all the maintenance men, including one of whom that got a bit too familiar. She joked to him about what a neat freak I am, and how I’d notice if someone moved my stuff even a little (accurate). A few days later, I came home to find stuff on my dresser and desk out of place. I mentioned it the next time I saw him, and he cheerfully admitted to moving my stuff to see whether I’d really notice. That means that he came in with a master key while no one was home, went into my bedroom, and did god knows what.
Now I live in a middling apartment in a scary part of town, and honestly, I prefer it.
20. I can smell this story, and it is not pleasant
We had friends over for my girlfriend’s birthday and to celebrate moving into a new apartment together for the first time. A guy we knew from college kept stealing peoples drinks throughout the night and got incoherently hammered. He lived a couple of hours away but got too sloshed to go home, so we let him stay despite already having a friend from out of town who planned to stay with us.
In the middle of the night, the dude stripped down, forced the other guest off the only air mattress and pooped himself massively. He then tracked poopy footprints all over the apartment, smacked poopy handprints on all the door nobs, including in the bedroom where we were sleeping, covered all our towels/some blankets in his butt sauce, and peed in some places. Oh but it’s not like he didn’t make it to the bathroom – he left a second, possibly third poo in the toilet. No flush. No apology. Just left at like 6 am, without his poopy underpants. Those he left on the ruined air mattress in a steaming heap.
Needless the say the surprise breakfast waffles for my girlfriend were not as enjoyable.
19. Gotta love country folk, right?
I had a landlord at a rental house in Effingham, IL who would never leave us alone. He was constantly showing up to hang out in his garage/man cave to play with his model airplanes, sit back there all day using the electric and the gas heater which was on our bills, and also show up at 7 am EVERY OTHER MORNING to mow the grass/putter around under our bedroom windows. It was just my ma and me, we were city people (we only moved there temporarily to get back into Illinois in general) and like our privacy (hence why we rented a house), just wanted to mind our own business, and when we brought up the issue with him, he became even more intrusive, making us out to seem crazy for wanting privacy.
It made us nauseous every time we looked out the back window and saw the tail end of his car sticking out behind the garage, three times a day. Got to where sometimes he’d be standing in the yard with the equally hicky, judgy, small town, next door neighbors, facing the house and talking/laughing about us with their arms crossed. It was like being prisoners in our own home.
18. I’m on good terms with my family, and even I wouldn’t let them all stay at my house
I was hit by a car when bicycling to work one day. I ruptured a kidney, broke my jaw and six teeth, and was in general pretty banged up. My boyfriend at the time was overwhelmed by it and he called my family for support (without me knowing, otherwise I would have told him not to). I hadn’t spoken to them in about five years at this point.
They drove 10 hours to our apartment. My boyfriend and I had arranged a suite of rooms at the beautiful hotel literally around the corner from us but they said it would be better if the FIVE of them slept in our one bedroom apartment with us. Fine.
I’m pretty out of it from medication, etc. They had never been to my city before so they insisted I show them around. I got them behind the scenes passes to tour Pixar studios and tried to show them around as much as possible despite the fact I could barely move or walk from the pain in my kidney.
After a few days, I told them I couldn’t keep going places with them. They said I was ruining their vacation. I responded that I didn’t know it was a vacation, I thought they came to visit me because they were concerned about my near-death accident. My mother laughed at that. I told them all to get out of my apartment. On the way out my sister stole all my pain meds. I didn’t realize it until several hours later when they were long gone and I couldn’t find them to take my next dose. I had to go back to the ER and the staff didn’t want to give me more meds because they thought I was doing something illegal. I had to recover from serious injuries without help.
17. Food goes in your tummy, not on the floor
When I was in like 2nd grade, I invited this girl over and we made popcorn as a snack and not even 5 minutes later, this moron decided it’s a good idea to run all over my house throwing it everywhere. This goes on another 5 minutes while I chase her down. But the damage is done. The popcorn is in between couch cushions, under the fridge, under my bed, in my laundry basket, all over the floor. My mom ends up sitting us down and proceeds to lay it out on her, telling her that what she did was disrespectful and to help clean up.
She pouted and said no, saying since it wasn’t her house she didn’t have to clean it. She continued to pout as my mom called her mom and pretty much told her to leave and do not expect to be invited back anytime soon. I haven’t spoken to her in a while, but apparently, she got banned from the mall for trashing a Lush store with her friend, throwing food, dumping out products, and smashing bath bombs… so I guess she hasn’t changed much.
16. Why you gotta be so uncool, man?
Years ago, I lived in a large house in Hollywood, the rent was low, and I mostly lived alone, other than a two year period when one of my best friends lived with me.
I was a sitting target for people ‘passing through’ if you like. It was a joke.
Under the guise of him doing me a favour I had one old ‘friend’ house sit for me when I was out of town on a job. I returned to a swimming pool full of floating newspapers, drifting garbage throughout the house. Overfull ashtrays were everywhere stinking up the house, even in my bedroom.
Worst of all was he had ONE job. That was to take care of my parrot. I had a blue macaw. I found out that the stupid jerk had let my parrot fall in the pool and my poor bird nearly drowned. I screamed at him, (the friend), he told me that I was being “very uncool”.
Around the same period another ‘friend’ who came to roost for a few weeks asked if a friend of hers could stay for a few nights, as she was ‘passing through’. Predictably enough I agreed. The ‘passer through’ was a ‘hippy’ who had been spending time travelling in Central America. One morning I resentfully watched the tanned back of the ‘passer through’, a self-described free-spirit, as she sat on my white kitchen floor, gazing out into the back yard. She contemplated the back yard as she smoked her roll-up. Her sarong was pooled around her hips on the floor. When she finished her smoke, she stood up, stretched her arms and made to head off into the garden.
She had left a bloody pool on the floor. I immediately pointed this out, she shrugged a languid shoulder at me, “it’s just a little bit of blood”.
I almost threw a kitchen cloth at her head and a bottle of bleach. When she’d finished cleaning it I kicked her out. I was once again told I was “uncool” but this time by a different person.
15. It’s ok though because Jesus forgives
When I was a kid, about ten or eleven, the minister/pastor came to visit (while I was at school) and sat in our wooden rocking chair. When I got home he got up and offered me the rocking chair. I thought it was weird, but ok, so I dropped into the chair… and he pulled it out from under me and I hit the floor hard. On my tail bone. I cried, and it was painful for a few weeks. I don’t remember him apologizing.
Great lesson for little me that churchy people aren’t necessarily always nice people.
14. We are hiding ourselves… From you
I had a landlord that wouldn’t leave me alone. It was at an apartment complex with those doors with 2 locks. One can be opened with a key, the other can only open from the inside. She told us we weren’t allowed to use the other lock (we started using it eventually) in case of an emergency. She would just let herself in at 6 am multiple times a week (without ANY notice) to “check” the blinds/garbage disposal/toilets/anything she could think of. We started using the second lock and she’d bang on the door for 30 minutes yelling our names and saying “LET ME IN!!! INSPECTION!!!” It felt more like a bed check at summer camp than a home.
All of the other tenants I knew had the same problem but nobody complained because she was a mean old lady and had no problem evicting people just because. I was just tired of getting woken up early to an old lady coming into my bedroom to make sure my blinds still worked! When we told her it wasn’t okay to come into our house without a 24-hour notice which is legally required she asked what we were hiding. Needless to say, we did not renew that lease.
13. I wish I had a friend that would make me all this good stuff
I prepared a Disney-themed surprise party for a good friend of mine in my apartment. Every corner had a different Disney theme. I made almost all the decorations by hand and the result was truly amazing. I spent around 3 days decorating my whole apartment and preparing her favorite foods. It wasn’t supposed to be a party with a lot of people but I invited our close friends and asked them to come without having dinner first. Some vegetarian friends who were coming mentioned that they were bringing a friend of theirs who was vegan so I made a big buffet including the birthday girl’s favorite foods, a few vegan dishes, a big pitcher of fresh mocktail to share, everyone’s favorite snacks including a few vegan snacks on the side… Think the big picture, a baked Brie, nice homemade hummus, cut-up fresh veggies, vegan dips made with veganaise, vegan macaroni salad, nachos, French bread, hot spinach dip, bacon poppers, a spinach Asian salad, a huge pecan cake Frozen-themed, vegan marshmallows dipped in vegan chocolate, popcorn caramel cake pops… That didn’t even include the snacks I bought since these were all homemade.
Anyway, my friends get to my place and they are late but it’s not a big deal. The birthday girl is truly surprised. It looks magical and the food looks amazing. I invite people to start digging in right away… and no one grabs a plate except me and my boyfriend. Turns out they went out to dinner right before coming here when I specifically asked them not to. I mention that I made a lot of vegan dishes since I knew their vegan friend that I never even met was coming… yet she doesn’t thank me or attempt to eat anything. She says “nah I’m good I ate before coming here!” The birthday girl eventually gets some stuff but mostly the snacks I bought. I tried to camouflage my tears by inciting people to play games. We played for an hour and a half until my friend said she was tired and wanted to go home. Other people just followed behind her.
3 days of decorating and cooking. Around $100 worth of food and snacks. All of this for a maximum of two hours. When they left I cried so hard and my boyfriend was livid. He couldn’t believe how ungrateful my friends were. I used to be very generous to my friends but ever since that happened, I’ve stopped making parties, dinners, and gifts. It really broke my heart and my view on our friendships has never been the same since then.
12. It’s only game, why you heff to be mad?
I own my home and my boyfriend lives with me. He invited two of his friends over to play board games one day. The one friend decided to come for my throat in the board game and when I outplayed him and blocked him from winning he decided to get me back by being obnoxious. I asked him repeatedly to tone it back.
He started talking nasty about women and how worthless they are (mind you I was the only one of the four of us who owned a home) and showing sexist YouTube videos to the other friend along with making crazy loud noises and generally saying dumb things. This went on for eight hours. After he left he texted my boyfriend trying to say they couldn’t hang out anymore because he couldn’t respect someone who was with me and he would never be able to handle being in the same room as me and if they were going to be friends and hang out I couldn’t be there.
After he left I spoke with my boyfriend. He and I were both furious. No one is confrontational and circumstance made it difficult to get face to face time for several weeks. I ended up messaging the friend and telling him what a douche he was and that he was no longer welcome in my house. He ended up apologizing. I don’t like him but it is what it is. Boyfriend also spoke with him and told him off and that he’s no longer welcome over.
11. Sounds like a bad time all around
When I was in college my roommate had a huge thing for my now ex. They’d gone to high school together and were in the same major in college. When she and I would hang out in our room she would talk relentlessly about how hot she thought he was, how she was planning to trick him into doing things for/with her (usually driving her home on holidays, hanging out with her on weekends, or getting her the answers to problem sets and practice exams), and what good roommates they would make because they were “just so similar” and “got along so well”. When the three of us hung out together she would loudly object to our being physically or verbally affectionate and go out of her way to muscle me out of conversations. When he came to visit me in our room she would find any reason to get him to go over and sit with and talk to her.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, one of our suite mates also had a thing for him. This girl never talked to me, but my then boyfriend was her TA, so whenever he came to visit me and she was in her room this girl would show up at my door, walk in uninvited saying she had questions on the homework and end up staying to talk to and flirt with him for what could be hours. While she was there she would either blatantly insult me or just ignore me entirely, getting upset if I tried to join in on their general conversation. Because my roommate was her friend and my ex saw himself as her mentor I couldn’t ask her to leave without coming across as incredibly rude and being upbraided by my ex and roommate after she left.
Thankfully all three people are out of my life now.
10. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t just go into people’s housees and make their food for yourself
My wife and I were broke, but we’d gotten lucky. Kraft had just changed the box on their mac’n cheese, and the store nearby was selling all the old boxes for 10 cents each.
So we bought 20 bucks worth. That’s sides that aren’t ramen for meals for like, 2 months or more!
So we throw a potluck fire pit party, and this guy we barely know comes into the house, sees all the mac’n cheese on the shelf, and just makes himself two boxes and eats the entire thing in one sitting. Never mind that he and the friend of ours who brought him showed up an hour early, so the grilled chicken legs we were contributing weren’t ready, and apparently, the hot dogs they brought weren’t good enough.
Now, normally, this wouldn’t be an issue, but at the time, we were making a box last two meals on average cause we were spending like, 20 bucks total for two people per week for food. It was all we could afford. The chicken legs were, at the time, a fairly expensive thing, I think we spent like 15 bucks on a huge bag of them from Costco, but ya know, balanced with the potluck, and the fact that whoever hosted these in our friends circle kept the leftovers(and we all made sure there was plenty, so there were ALWAYS leftovers) it was a good deal.
Needless to say, he was no longer welcome at our house and was asked to leave pretty much as soon as we saw him with the mac’n cheese.
9. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
I have one family member that everyone hates. That would be my aunt. She is rude and pretty much a narcissist (a lot of my family members give off this vibe, unfortunately). There are plenty of things she has done that are just outright disrespectful. Like there was a time where her home was destroyed by a hurricane, so her and my grandmother, and my cousins stayed over for a few months. They were essentially living off of my family’s income for a while. She started to claim spots around the house and started to act like the house was hers.
I would go into the fridge and I would see some juice and drink it. Apparently, it was her’s so she said: “I’m going to set you on fire”. Something stupid like that always happens. She would also yell at her own mother in our house. Tell her off and basically bully my grandmother. Pretty much made her cry. Called her stupid. We made it pretty clear we did not want that crap going on in the house. She also broke our sofa in the living room. She would plop herself down in it, and the side of the sofa would separate from the cushion. It was also caved inward. There plenty of broke springs on it as well.
I think the worst thing that happened was that my cousin was coming up the stairs… he fell and dislocated his shoulder. My aunt was standing right there. The first thing she says “I don’t want to have to use the money to take you to the hospital! Stop acting a fool and sit down!” My cousin pulled his arm and popped his shoulder back into place right on the spot without her seeing it. For some context, she went out and bought a smartphone, a wireless charger, and a purse just the other day. She also would assert dominance on me and my family. I was a brown belt in karate. I was one test away from a Black belt. I had already one the state tournament for Kumite plenty of times as would say I was pretty decent at karate.
She threatened me because I did something that we do in our house all the time but she didn’t like it, “I beat a girl who was taking karate back at my home. When I fight, I don’t fight fair. I will knock you out and kill you in seconds”. Like what? You come in to my house, you respect my rules and my family members. Don’t come in here threatening me. Look at the position you’re in! I swear… my parents are toxic, but she is on another level. She almost got thrown out the house plenty of times.
8. This is literally what the police is for
This happened years ago, I was around 18 years old (I am and was a 5’2 female at the time and this guy was smaller than me so I figured I was safe) and I also lived in a smaller sized town so it’s not uncommon to see the same people around when you go out. I was introduced to a guy through a mutual friend and this dude gave me the creeps from the start, he would blankly stare at me and wouldn’t break eye contact.
I walked around the side of a building that we were standing next to because it weirded me out so much but he followed and stared at me from around the corner. Fast forward to a few weeks later at around 9 at night I decided I was going to go for a walk and when I got to the top of my driveway he just so happened to be walking past and we ended up just walking together, me in the lead and him walking behind me talking about random stupid crap the entire time, like how “women are useless and only exist to please men” along with other dumb incel crap.
I decided to go back home at around 11 and let him know that I was leaving but he followed the entire way, all the way up to my front door. I tried repeatedly to hint that I wanted him to leave but he didn’t catch on I guess. I went in and this guy followed me inside, walked directly into my living room, sat down happily into my chair and turned the TV on at full blast.
At the time I was just living with my Grandmother and she went to sleep at around 7 at night and was a very light sleeper. She always had supersonic hearing so any little noise would wake her up. I was super angry, at the time I was naive and always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt and tried to see the good in people but this was way beyond what I was comfortable with, there’s basically a stranger in my home doing whatever he wants to with no regard to what I’m saying, he invited himself into my home without even asking.
I took the remote, turned the TV off and finally decided it was time to tell him to “Get out of my house”. I still cringe thinking back on how stupid and naive I was though. Also this dude stalked me around for years until I finally moved. Maybe I should have called the police at some point looking back on it but I didn’t because he didn’t threaten me or my family, he just followed me around. Young and dumb
7. What kind of animal would do this?
A former friend yelled at my pomeranian puppy so loudly and angrily that she went potty on the floor out of fear. She yipped a lot but only because at that time she was a 7 month old ball of floof that wanted attention. I told her the puppy was just playing around, doesn’t bite, and that she didn’t need to yell. She knew I had a puppy beforehand, and her family bread Bassett Hounds.
After I finished cleaning up the mess, she asks to use the bathroom. On the way there, she kicks over the dog’s food and water dishes. On purpose. She mumbles under her breath that Hannah, the puppy, was a “dirty rat.” I clean up that mess and while she’s on the commode, I called her dad and told him that she wasn’t my friend anymore and that he needs to pick up his daughter within an hour. The friendship was promptly terminated.
6. No Mrs. I swear he said I could have all his stuff
When I was in cub scouts, in third grade nonetheless, my mom hosted a meeting for the scouts in my grade at school where we built birdhouses for some badge or something. While we were waiting for everyone to arrive, me and the scouts who had already arrived started playing in my backyard. One scout, let’s call him N, told us he had to go to the bathroom “really bad” and left.
When everyone arrives to start the project, I notice that N was sitting at the edge of the table looking down and my mom was REALLY angry and was trying her best to suppress it. She asked me and all the other scouts if I had given N permission to go in my room. Me and all my friends said, “no, he said he had to go to the bathroom really bad.” This response only made my mom even more visibly angry and N ducked his head more. 5 minutes later N’s mom arrives and is apologizing profusely to my mom.
Turns out N went into my room, pocketed the 20 dollars I had been saving up (I got paid 2 dollars a week for mowing the lawn as an allowance), and was stuffing my toys and video games into his backpack. My mom went upstairs to ACTUALLY use the bathroom and noticed the theft taking place and caught him red-handed. He then lied to my mom and said I gave him permission to go into my room and he was just “checking it out.” But no, my mom caught him red-handed, and my mom is SCARY when she’s mad. In total, he tried to steal around $150 in game boy cartridges, pokemon cards and toys and around 3 months of allowance.
5. Now we know where the neighbor in a sitcom trope comes from
My new neighbor moved into his house on the same day as my youngest daughter’s first birthday party. He had a young kid (around 6 or 7) close to the age of my nieces, so I invited him and his family over.
After they’re in the house for around 10 minutes, I notice he’s no longer there, but his daughter is still eating pizza at my table. I looked all over the house and couldn’t find him. I walked down to his house and knocked on the doors. Nobody answered and his car was gone.
Nearly 4 hours later, the last of the guests had left, it was around 9:30 PM and he still was nowhere to be found. He finally came back at 10:00 PM (walked right in without knocking) and acted like nothing was wrong. I pulled him outside and told him that it is not okay to leave a small child with complete strangers, certainly not for that long, and not without letting someone know. His excuse? We seemed like decent people and he needed to pick up a few more boxes from their old house.
I actually have quite a few stories about this guy and he’s only been on my street for 7 months.
I had finished cutting the grass and went upstairs to take a shower. After getting dressed, I heard a noise downstairs. I was home alone, my wife wouldn’t be done work for an hour or so, and my kids were at their grandparents. So, I go to investigate and find the neighbor’s daughter in my rec room, playing with my children’s toys. I asked what she was doing and she said she wanted to come over to play. I told her the kids weren’t here, she shouldn’t be here and needs to go home right away. I actually had to physically pick her up and carry her to her house, because she didn’t want to leave.
I told her father what was going on and he said: “Oh, yeah, I figured she went over there.” That was it. No apology, no explanation, no talking to his child. I told him that from now on unless he or his wife is physically present, she will not be permitted in my house. I’m not interested in being accused of anything.
A few weeks before Christmas, I threw my back out and had to take some pretty heavy painkillers. I was home alone, had just put some food in the oven, and he rang my doorbell. I hobbled over, opened the door and asked what was up. “I heard from [neighbor between us] that you hurt your back and wanted to check on you.”
“Thanks, bud, I appreciate that. I’m alright, just getting ready to eat some lunch, then take a nap. Why don’t you swing by later and play some games or something.” I’m trying to be a good neighbor.
He tells me that he doesn’t have a lot of time, but figured he’d stay and chat for a bit. “Sorry, but I can’t really chat right now. My back is pretty bad, I’m due for my meds, and I really have to get back inside.”
He then tries to chat about whatever was on his mind after I told him two more times that I’m in a lot of pain. I finally just closed the door while he was still talking.
They had a baby a few months ago and my wife figured she’d offer to babysit for a few hours to let them get out of the house and relax. She knocks on their door and this dude answers in his boxers and slippers. He’s not exactly the kind of guy you’d enjoy seeing in his boxers and slippers. He invited my wife in and asked if she wanted anything. She’s like “Uh, actually, I can’t stay. I was running to the grocery store and wanted to see if you were low on any baby supplies.”
My doorbell rang last Wednesday. I open the door within 30 seconds of it ringing to find him sitting on my lawn. Not in the steps, not on the chairs on the porch, just in the grass facing away from the house.
He just wanted to come by and hang out for a bit until his wife and kids came home.
The shame of it is that he’s actually super nice, just incredibly stupid and awkward. I’m about 95% sure their daughter is on the spectrum, but I don’t think the parents notice, because of how stupid the father is.
4. Mulan told me the army would make a man out of you, and they wouldn’t lie
Had a guest tell me that my food was garbage and refused to eat anything.
When my husband was in the army we invited a bunch of single soldiers to have Thanksgiving dinner at our house rather than let them languish in the barracks. One of them was a childish private. He began the night by plopping down on the sofa to play with his Gameboy and announced that he hated turkey. Ignored everyone else for the next hour.
Alright. No problem. I made a massive dinner and there’s plenty of other things to eat.
When it came time to serve up the buffet people lined up and were heaping their plates and this kid kept loudly complaining that there was nothing good. Selected a few items and joined everyone at the table. Took one bite of one thing, visibly gagged and threw down his fork. Announced that all this food was ‘doo doo’ and left the table. Went back to the sofa with his Gameboy.
Everyone blew it off and ignored him for a while. We enjoyed our meal and people went out of their way to tell me how lovely the food was and to thank me for inviting them. People began to break up and get drinks. Music was turned up and we settled in for a nice evening.
About an hour after dinner the stinker began to complain that he was hungry. That there wasn’t anything to eat. Would NOT shut up. Demanded that somebody order pizza. At one point he asked for a peanut butter sandwich. I made him one and he was mad because it was whole wheat bread and he only liked white.
After he rejected the sandwich I didn’t know what to do. I stood there holding it and I was pretty close to throwing it at him. Three soldiers abruptly excused themselves, pulled him off the couch, and marched him outside. The soldiers came back in about fifteen minutes later, picked up their drinks, and continued the conversation like nothing ever happened. I never saw him again. And I mean ever. He must’ve been banned from every social function from then on out because it’s like he never existed.
The sad thing is that a lot of immature kids are encouraged to join by exasperated families in an effort to ‘make a man out of them.’ Rarely works. Thankfully they never last.
When the first incident happened, it was odd. But many people have dietary restrictions, so you let that go. The antisocial behavior on the sofa wasn’t so bad because sometimes people have a bad day. He was also in a strange house and may not have known anyone. Some people don’t do well in social situations and the last thing you want to do is make them feel more uncomfortable. Nobody wants to be the ugly person who assumes the worst, is easily offended, or who makes a scene at a dinner party.
When he was so horrible at the dinner table, I think that everyone was in such shock that nobody knew how to react. This was so far outside of the norm that there’s no way to prepare for such a thing. Nobody wanted to ruin the evening by making a scene, so everyone focused on making me feel better. (Lots of quick hugs and pats on the shoulder with words of encouragement.) Maybe they were waiting for my husband to do something and he was loading up at the buffet and talking at the time so he missed it.
So, deep breaths. Move on. We’re not going to allow one jerk to ruin our night.
Then the complaining and people were ‘hushing’ him, but he got worse, so I tried to placate him. But I was also trying to rotate through a pretty decent-sized group and really didn’t have time to focus on one guest. I just wanted to shut him up so I made the stupid sandwich.
Then he crossed the final line and at that, I was flummoxed and totally at a loss for how to handle him. With his bizarre behavior, I really had no idea what he was capable of. I don’t like confrontation and my anxiety was through the roof. I had two dozen people staring at the exchange in silence and all I could do was blink like an idiot.
Enough people saw my predicament, finally had enough, and stepped in to help me.
Hindsight is 20/20. I was also much younger than I am now and inexperienced. If somebody treated me like that now, the reaction would be *much* different, I assure you. I don’t let things get out of hand like that. Back then I had two babies and was just getting launched into life. Now I’ve raised two teenagers and I was the ‘mom’ of the neighborhood. I’ve had dozens of teenagers over for games and meals and family time and now I know better how to manage them better.
So there’s the long version of why nice people sometimes struggle to react right to rude people. Really there is no ‘right’ way to respond when someone is so wrong.
3. Because there’s nothing women love more than watching you eat a living creature alive
Back in college my roommates and I hosted a birthday party for a mutual friend at our apartment. Earlier that day we gifted her a pet goldfish because she had been talking about getting one.
Fast forward to later in the night. Our male friend, let’s call him Mike, decided he needed to find a way to impress our other friend, who I’ll call Darla. Mike tries every lame joke and pick up line on Darla and fails time and time again. Then he sees the goldfish in his tank and scoops him up in his hand. He says, “Check this out, Darla!” He then plops the fish into his mouth and swallows it alive. My roommate and I immediately rush over and start trying to make Mike puke the fish back up. Darla quickly makes for the door and leaves the party.
Sadly that fish met its doom in Mike’s stomach that night. He never apologized although he did complain about severe stomach issues for several days afterward.
2. That kid 100% grew up to be a serial killer
When I was maybe 5 or 6 so so I had my first kitten go missing. Naturally, I was sad. It was my cat, and he was gone.
My mother used to babysit several kids. Among them, there was one kid who was always bad. He would hurt other kids and take food or drinks away when they weren’t looking even though he was smaller. He was just a lot meaner. I felt bad for him because even though I was young I understood in part that he wasn’t well off in life. His family was poor and made bad choices for him and themselves.
About a month passed after my kitten had gone missing. I was just at the point of accepting that I would never find him. He maybe ran off and was living a life free or with another little boy.
My dad came home from work and went to the garage. He found a small box for kids to store pens and crayons or other craft stuff. He opened it, said “aw man” and shut It. I didn’t know what it could be until he walked inside to tell my mother.
My kitten had died, stuffed into a small box, hidden away from everyone else, and I was devastated. It wasn’t until the kids my mother watched heard about it that the little boy started laughing. He was so proud of himself like he had pranked us. It was just a joke to him.
I grew up telling myself and others that I wasn’t a “cat person” when really I just could not stand the loss of another. I couldn’t let that happen to another kitten.
I don’t know what happened to the boy after that either, and even if I could find out I don’t care to.
First, I understand the sentiment of wishing harm on the boy, but I was never largely an aggressive child. Sure I could have been rough from time to time. Violence wasn’t my concern upon learning of the death of my pet. I kinda wish it had been.
1. Show some respect lady, somebody died
For most of my life, I had a wonderful stepdad. He was in the military but did his best never to take work home with him, always preached hard work and tolerance, and even made sure to let me know that even if we weren’t related, I was his daughter, and always would be.
It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though. He would work insanely long hours, and many hours at home he would spend working too (turns out he did some really important tactical work that I obviously wasn’t privy to, but so far as I understand, doing his work right meant way fewer deaths on all sides of the conflict).
He had several medals for all kinds of things and would check and double-check and triple-check all his preparations every day. Every day. Every day. He went abroad three times in the 15 years I knew him to assist in violent conflicts because, as he said, he had the experience, and the poor kids who were just rolling into the army didn’t. It gave him horrible, horrible PTSD, and as I would be told later, he’d struggled with some symptoms since before he met us. Only hung in there thanks to many, many doctor meetings and intensive therapy treatments.
He tried to kill himself several times, unbeknownst to me, but finally succeeded back in 2010.
It crushed us. It was the only time my entire life I’ve seen my mom cry. Most of it is still a blur to me because I just kind of emotionally shut down in disbelief. Thankfully, he had a lot of army buddies who helped us take care of everything in the aftermath. The funeral. The legal case for work-related death that his superiors were denying. We even had the army priest out and talk to my mother in his spare time to help us emotionally. Because of his bonds with them during his lifetime.
We didn’t really notice it at the time, but we didn’t see anything of his family – which we knew he had – until after he was buried.
But what a meeting we had.
So. We’d only encountered his father before, and usually only briefly. We only saw him afterward after he came to stare at the grave and we ran into him by accident, having clearly intended to avoid him. The type to never say a kind word to his kid, and then brag about them to all his friends when they weren’t paying attention. But that’s a different story.
Mom decided to invite him back for coffee because like, he lived half the country away and had a long drive home, and we wanted to talk to him anyway. We’d decided that because my stepdad had so many different honors from his military days, we wanted to give one or two to each of his closest family for them to remember him by after his will left everything to us and ONLY us. (Weird, because my stepdad was usually very thoughtful, but ok.)
He told us there was pretty much just my stepdad’s sister to worry about, apart from him, so we gave him the medals and send him on his way. Soon after, said sister contacted us, with all the “omg, you poor things!!” and “are you doing ok financially??”s as she could. At least, so mother tells me. They set up a day for her to come to pick up some of the medals… enter the story.
She shows up with her kid in tow, a teenager about… 16-17 I’d say, I don’t know. Being anti-social and grieving, I stayed in my room most of the visitation, but thanks to my room being fairly central to the house I got to hear a lot of the conversation. The lady was… chipper. Talking about what a gorgeous house it was and oh my goodness, we had two big tv’s?? and our cars were ssoooooo nice (They weren’t). Meanwhile, this teenager just followed along, looking around while they invited themselves on a tour of the house.
As they come back from their first loop, my mom tries to bring up the medals again, but the sister is like “Oh yeeeaaaah, but I just reeeaaally wanted to see how my brother lived, you know?”. So they get the tour around the house as well (saw them pass by my window) before coming back in. They’re standing RIGHT on the other side of my wall, so I can hear them clearly.
Then, the teenage girl finally pipes up. “This is a really nice computer. I’ve been wanting one like this!” I stop typing and listen. My mom tells her oh… yeah he used it for work, so they’d have to hand it in in case there were sensitive documents on it… but she could always write down the serial number. Silence. Then the sister pipes up awkwardly, FINALLY interested in those medals. They go away, but I’m tense now and trying to listen for them around the house because that silence was weird.
When they cross my door again, mom has a harsh look in her eyes. And that’s when that hellspawn sister, in her chipper tone, pipes up: “So he had a car, right? My daughter just got her driver’s license…”
I don’t remember much of the conversation from there. I just remember sitting there in horror of what I’m hearing. Her tone was completely shameless and very unmistaken. My mom claims an “evil aura” felt was emanating from my door at this point, but it must’ve been just from me probably not typing and just sitting there or something.
Anyway, my mom, understandably, leads them to the door and gets them to leave – making it VERY clear to them that those medals of HONOUR were the ONLY things they were getting.
She would later tell me that the entire trip around the house, that lady didn’t seem the least bit upset, and would just keep pointing out how “nice” all of our stuff was, asking what belonged to my stepdad/her brother, and that daughter of hers only perking up when she heard some form of electronic had belonged to my stepdad.
I never heard from them again after that, and thank god.
Their dad, himself, would later tell us, so our face, how entitled and shallow his daughter had always been.
No wonder my stepdad never spoke much of his family.