Humans have lived on this Earth for quite some time now, but monkeys have been here longer. Through time, we have learned to share the world with our primitive ancestors—it was their place first, after all. While interactions between humans and monkeys are rare in places like North America, they are quite common in other parts of the world. Redditors came together to share their stories about their interactions with monkeys. Some people were on a vacation and encountered one unexpectedly; others have learned to live with them in their hometowns or even in their college dorm rooms. Whatever the scenario was, these people (and these monkeys!) were in for some wild surprises.
50. Monkey On The Lam
49. The Monkeys Have The Power Now
48. Monkey University
47. Lock Your Windows, Close Your Doors
46. Watching The Sunset With Unlikely Friends
I live in Malaysia. We had a family picnic and didn’t think to take precautions against the monkeys, which were absolutely everywhere.
There are at least two species of monkey where we live: Macaques and Silvered Leaf Monkeys. The Macaques are more numerous and aggressive, but they usually maintain their distance. You’ll rarely be able to get within 2 meters of a Macaque without it running away, although it will behave in a threatening manner before you get that close.
So we were surprised when, in the middle of our picnic, this gang of Macaques literally raided the picnic blanket, jumping on us, stealing everything they could grab in 0.5 seconds. Drinks, fruit, bags, bread…everything.
But the funniest part was my daughter. She loves bananas. The sight of her standing there with one arm reaching out and screaming in slow motion: “Baaaa-naaa-naaa!!!!!” as she sees her prized bananas disappearing into the sunset. Years later, we still tease her by spontaneously calling, “Baaaa-naaa-naaa!!!!!”
44. A Monkey Classroom Bamboozle
43. Japanese Robber Monkeys
I lived in Japan for a year for a study abroad program. I lived on the outskirts of Kyoto. If you turned right out of my house you’d head into the city. Turning left sent you into the mountains and more rural parts of the city. There are monkeys that live in said mountains. One time I went for a jog up the road that winds up a nearby mountain path and saw a monkey jump out of the woods like a frickin velociraptor from Jurassic Park. It knocked over a poor old lady and stole all the groceries she was carrying.
42. The Shirt Is A Donation To Your New Monkey Family
I was at a resort in the jungle for a company team-building retreat. We had a special shirt made for each of us. I was drying my shirt out at the balcony and a few little monkeys started sniffing and fighting for my shirt. My roommate and I were about to rush out and grab my shirt, but a giant angry mother monkey came, so we just looked sadly at my shirt from inside the room and said bye to it.
40. Monkey Business Is Serious Business
I was visiting a friend who lived in Shimla, India. Her house had a closed balcony (like a large bay window) where the dining table was set up. There was a small open portion of balcony in front on the closed part. I loved sitting there in the mornings, having breakfast and watching langur monkeys sitting on the railing and grooming each other just outside the window. I was less fond of having them wake me up at five in the morning by jumping around on the roof.
The macaques in Shimla are like raccoons in some parts of the USA – they get into the trash and in through windows and steal food. They are, however, much bolder than raccoons and not afraid of humans at all and you need to make sure they don’t see you carrying food around or they will snatch it from you and bite you for good measure. There is a temple in the hills above Shimla where they will snatch glasses off people’s faces and only give them back in exchange for food.
I was visiting another temple in Shimla and was sitting there in the sun, sketching, while my host’s parents prayed at the temple, when I heard a movement behind me. I turned around and there was a macaque sitting on the wall at my shoulder, apparently taking great interest in my sketch. I edged slowly away so as to not seem threatening. These things have huge canine teeth and can bite the hell out of you.
39. Do Not Feed The Monkeys
We had a monkey that roamed our neighbourhood for a few months. Mostly friendly…until it wasn’t. It started chasing the kids in the neighbourhood. We thought it was good fun and would taunt it till it chased us. Then it started biting kids. Really vicious bites. My dad’s a vet and people were worried about rabies. After enough kids got bitten, the adults decided it was time to get rid of the monkey. We had several german shepherds at our house. So one day the monkey was lured into a room with bananas or something and then 2 of our dogs were released into the room. Monkey no more. Made me so unbelievably sad that that’s how they chose to get rid of it.
37. Lemurs, The Respectful Primate
36. Frozen Baboon Anyone?
In some towns in Zimbabwe, baboons are a major problem. At one point a friend of mine went on holiday with his family. When they got back, they found that one of the windows had been forced open (or maybe left open). They assumed that they had been burgled, since the home appeared to have been ransacked. A couple of days after getting home, his wife opened the chest freezer to take out some meat. Turns out a baboon had gotten into the house, ripped the place up looking for food, opened the latch on the deep freeze, got in, and got shut inside. Poor thing ended up freezing to death. Apparently the lady’s scream when she opened the freezer could be heard all the way in Botswana.
35. Monkey Thieves
I used to hang out with a guy who was in the Marines and was stationed in southeast Asia in the 80s and 90s. He has TONS of monkey stories, and he hates monkeys more than I have ever seen anyone hate anything ever.
18. Monkeys In Hong Kong
17. Horrify The Family With A Dying Dog
16. Surviving A Monkey Bite
15. The Great Leaf Battle
14. Monkeys Want All Or Nothing
13. Distrust Over Monkeys
12. Contaminated Monkey Hands
11. Mugging Monkeys On The Roof
10. Monkey Forest Memories
9. Anti-Religious Monkey
8. Ticked Off Monkeys
When I was a toddler my parents took me to the beach in Mozambique. They put me down in a baby pen underneath the trees on the beach. Monkeys were in the trees above. Apparently they were very interested in me and getting a little too close. My mom got nervous and grabbed me out of the baby pen and this ticked off the monkeys. So they peed all over the baby pen and it went into the trash when we left the beach.
7. My College Roommates Are Monkeys
6. A Monkey Bite Brings A Snowy Miracle
5. Rain Or Monkey Feet…?
I was in Uganda for a couple of months in 2012, spending one night with the team in Fort Portal. The hostel was surrounded by vervet and colobus monkeys. Colobus monkeys are very pretty to look at (long black and white fur) and a bit shy – they mainly stayed up in their trees, away from the humans. The vervet monkeys, on the other hand, are highly sociable, and the ones near the hostel were eager to interact with humans. And try to steal our stuff. They were adorable, amusing little jerks.
My roommate and I got the “honeymoon cottage” that was set back from the rest of the hostel, because that’s where they could fit us. I remember early in the morning hearing rainfall on the tin roof, before realizing the pattern was quite irregular. I saw my roommate was awake and asked her if it was raining. She said no, and that she was pretty sure it was the monkeys running back and forth repeatedly on the roof. They did that for something like two hours before moving on.
4. Baboon Attack In A Hotel
2. Evil Baby Monkeys
I was on vacation in Tanzania and woke up one day to a juvenile monkey fiddling with the zipper to my tent/cabin hybrid. I told it to shoo and it backed up about a foot, then came right back and kept doing it.
Frustrated, I unzipped the tent and made it clear he should scram by lunging at him. So he ran off… for about 30 seconds. Then he came back—and brought a friend.
Soon another showed up, and then another, and then another, and then another. Before I knew it, there’s about 30 monkeys—not all of them small—chittering and chattering outside my tent/cabin.
I had to pee like a racehorse so I steeled myself, unzipped the tent and then started hollering and jumping up and down to scare them off. Again, they backed up about a foot and then RUSHED at me.
I ran for my life pursued by a troupe of evil baby monkeys all the way to the wildlife camp’s outdoor pavilion. There, one of the Masai warriors they used for security appeared and chased them off with his cowhide shield and spear.
For a minute there, though, I thought those little guys were gonna tear my face off.