For some reason, some people out there just can’t seem to get the picture that you should be nice to each other. It’s not hard to not be a big jerk. Luckily, the world has a wonderful way of balancing things out sometimes, and some bully ends up messing with the wrong person. From bad cops getting their due, to childhood bullies, and everything in-between, we have scoured the globe for stories of instant karma and brilliant revenge.
Just remember the golden rule, everyone: Be excellent to each other!
35. He’s the John Wick of trucks
My stepdad used to run a lot. He also had the absolute conviction found in his generation that justice was always on his side. Also, he always slept naked (which I learned as a result of this incident).
One late summer night two idiot kids tried to steal his truck out of his driveway. He sees this happening from his bedroom window and goes tearing out of the house, totally nude, and chases these two terrified kids for blocks screaming, “I’M GONNA GET YOU!”
He tackles one and the cops were on the scene in moments because obviously, some concerned neighbor noticed this happening at 2 am in our sleepy little town. God only knows what that 911 call sounded like. Probably a good thing the cop already knew the kid as a car thief. He hung out with the sobbing teen and suggested my stepdad sit in the cruiser until his wife could bring him some pants.
34. Well you for sure saw Batman
Heading home after a night out, I see three guys surrounding a dude in an alley. Thinking something is going on I stopped and watched for a little while when I hear one of the guys say something like “Just shut up and give us your stuff!”
The second after that all I see is a blur of arms and legs and the second after there are the three dudes flat on their back.
The lone dude getting robbed just walked out of there, right past me and didn’t even as much as look at me.
33. Street justice
When my wife was T-boned by a driver who had been drinking, it happened to be right in front of a bar that a friend owned. The bouncer at the door witnessed the accident and saw the guy jump from his car and run. Bouncer proceeds to chase him down, beat him, and drag him back to wait for the cops. When I thanked him, his response was “Are you kidding? That was a once in a lifetime chance to administer a well-deserved beating!”
32. It was at this moment he knew, he messed up
A friend of mines steps dad is not a good guy. He is full of rage and will lash out without a second thought. This made him the wrong target for two guys who tried to mug him near an atm. They came up to him and demanded he withdraws money. He grabbed one of them and smashed the guys head and face into a brick wall. The other guy ran away but he chased him down and broke his arm.
31. Thak that, goose
I once stuck it to a bully goose.
I had squatted down in the grass feeding two sweet obviously-together mallards and this rude goose marches up to us. It proceeded to snatch snacks from the female duck and the male tried to keep himself between her and rude goose.
I opened my hand to toss them some more, and rude goose peevishly bites at my hand. Obviously it was a practiced move, probably used on small children to scare them into dropping all of the treats. I tossed the ducks some bits and dropped little pieces closer and closer to me. Rude goose eventually was brave enough to come near and try to attack my hand again. I grabbed him by his skinny rude neck. He squawked and flapped for what probably were the longest three seconds of his life and before I let him go. I continued to feed them, including the goose, who was afterwards very polite all around.
Disclaimer: no animals were harmed in the making of this story
PSA: it is better to feed ducks and geese fruit, like grape halves, than processed bread products
30. Look at me, I’m the mugger now
My buddy Bob was a delivery driver at Domino’s and was a little off his rocker. Kind of older (upper sixties, maybe all the way to seventy) and the kind of guy who would cuss out a ten-year-old “to make a point” but also gave away our canceled orders at the end of the night to homeless people.
Anyways, Bob’s delivering a pizza and gets mugged. The robber walked up and hit Bob in the head with a brick, dropped the brick, took his cash and took the pizza. Bob got up, took the brick and proceeded to mug him back and then called the police. The gang banger in his twenties was too terrified of the pizza man in his seventies to run away and waited to be arrested.
29. The fact that they both got in trouble is why bullying still persists to this day. They aren’t afraid of the bully, they are afraid of the punishment
In middle school, during the lunch period, a kid in my grade was getting picked on by this larger kid and his friends. He said, “Stop it, leave me alone,” a few times. No one watching did anything because we were just dumb kids who didn’t want to get picked on either. The large kid was poking him and calling him names while his buddies laughed. Suddenly large kid slaps the other kid in the head. The other kid went bananas. Face red, tears streaming down his face, he jumped on large kid and attacked him, crying “Just leave me alone!” Teachers broke it up and began scolding him, but everyone who had been watching vouched for him, said he was only defending himself. I think they both got suspended anyway. No one messed with that kid anymore though.
28. The great furniture caper of 1997
My mom had a habit of randomly deciding to rearrange the furniture every few months, mainly because she was bored and wanted to do something. It was annoying at worst, not really something to get worked up about though. Usually, just things like “the couch is here now and the TV is over there now. Why? Oh I don’t know. I thought it looked nice.” However, one time she rearranged my bedroom. I came home from school, went up to my room, and “oh your room is like this now.”
I was not having it.
While she was busy making dinner (and my dad wasn’t home yet), I went into their bedroom and rearranged their furniture (pretty quietly too. She never heard anything).
Dad came home, went up to get changed, and yelled down the stairs to ask why she rearranged the room.
Confusion reigned. I felt like a legend, and she never touched my room again. Got in a bit of trouble though, but whatever.
27. Mess with the bull, your gonna get the horns
My family and I grew up in Baltimore City. The specific neighborhood we lived in wasn’t the best but certainly not the worst either (at the time, late 90s-early 2000s).
One day when my little brother was around 7, he was outside in the street next to our yard playing on his skateboard. A group of kids not much older were walking by looking to start trouble. It all happened so fast, they ran up and starting beating on him, then stole his skateboard. My dad was home that day. My sister and I ran inside hysterical and without even thinking twice he jumped up from his lazy boy in only his t-shirt and shorts, maybe only touched one of our 7 stairs out front and absolutely BOLTED after those punk kids.
This 50-year-old man (at the time) chased them for like 3 blocks in his bare feet and they’re screaming fearing for their lives. They finally dropped the skateboard at some point and my dad stopped chasing them and grabbed it, but I’d never seen him so angry and move so fast (signature angry dad warning sign – his eyes get huge and piercing, terrifyingly blue). When he came back his feet were so bloody and roughed up from straight sprinting on the concrete through gravel roads and alleyways. We never saw those kids near our house, let alone around our neighborhood again.
26. Don’t feel guilty
When I was in middle school, a pair of guys were going around forcibly kissing girls as part of a bet. One of them did this to me, and without even thinking, I punched him in the face. He was on the floor, hand over his face, blood pouring from between his fingers, and looking utterly shell-shocked. I looked around, and there were no witnesses, so I leaned in and snapped “You’re not going to tell anyone about this, are you?! Or I’ll break something else!”. He shook his head rapidly, and I ran off to tell a teacher that I saw a student fall face first.
About a week later, I saw him again at school, and he had some kind of cast/guard across his nose. The colour drained from his face when we made eye contact. I still feel guilty.
25. Just like Obi-Wan
I’m not sure if it’s the best but it’s certainly the most violent.
Some jerk in his 20s was hammered, telling everyone in the pub how he could kick everyone’s butt, and generally mouthing off about what a hard man he was.
He started hassling this workman in his 50s (who was clearly trying to have a quiet drink by himself) who did not react at all – just continued drinking and ignoring the moron.
Moron didn’t take this well and poured his drink over the workman’s head. Who proceeded to take his painter’s trowel out of his work bag, gash the hard man right across his face, finish his drink and calmly walk out while the other guy sprayed blood everywhere and screamed.
Sunderland in the 90s was an interesting city.
24. The name fits
I worked at a bar with my sister and we had a bouncer everyone called Big Mark, because he was absolutely huge. He was 6’8 and probably weighed around 320. He was massive. But he was also a sweet guy and super funny and smart. I never saw him have to fight anyone. Any time someone would refuse to leave or started raising their voice, Mark would just say “Stop threatening me, sir” and that took care of it.
There was one time my sister brought a People magazine or some other scandal rag to work, and she sat in a booth with some other servers before it got busy, and they read it together and joked around about the celebrities. Anyways, it gets busy, my sister leaves the magazine on the table, and two middle age couples come in and sit in the booth. They’re already tipsy, and they all glom onto the magazine. “What kind of moron reads this crap” etc. They start flipping through it, and then they start ripping it up and laughing.
In the midst of the rush, my sister sees this and gets kinda mad, so she goes up to Mark and tells him those jerks just tore up her magazine. So Mark gets up and lumbers over to their table and just stands there until they stop talking. He leans down and puts both hands on the table and says in his deepest voice, “Why did you tear up my magazine.” All four of them looked like they were going to throw up. It was glorious. They mumbled apologies and said they didn’t know it was his and promptly got up and left. Mark was a guy that would never want to hurt anyone, but he could intimidate 99% of people. I think he’s a nurse now.
23. Legendary dad
When I was 5 my dad took me to Walmart to get something for dinner and I saw a young couple fighting. This guy started really getting mad at this girl, he started getting in her face and threatening her and he even yanked her hair a bit and was pushing her. I was really scared. My dad shouted something to the guy, and the guy told my Dad to screw off.
Next thing I know, I saw my dad run right up to the guy and grab him by his hair shouting “OH YOU WANNA HIT YOUR LADY? YOU LIKE HITTING YOUR LADY? YOU WANNA HIT SOMEONE YOUR SIZE?” He ruined that guy. I don’t remember much else but cops were called and they didn’t do anything about what my dad did, just took the other guy away.
22. “Sorry about the mess”
I had a regular at my bar who was an amateur boxer. Some skinny sloshed idiot decided to pick a fight with him, really egged him on. The regular kept saying “come on man, just let me drink in peace” etc. After a good ten minutes he stood up, took off his jacket, apologized to the bar staff, and well, it wasn’t pretty.
21. Parents, teach your children how to defend themselves
When I was in High School in the ’90s, there were a handful of girls who were basically juvenile delinquents who frequently got in fights, acted tough, had 20+ year old boyfriends with mullets that were in and out of jail and they pretty much scared the rest of the girls in our school.
One day after the lunch bell rang, a girl, sort of nerdy, who I was in band with, was walking up the ramp into the lunchroom, as the ringleader of the ‘tough girls’ was walking down. I’m not exactly sure what caused the girl to get in the other girl’s face, but it was along the lines of “what are you looking at?” and she was probably just looking to mess with a band-geek, easy mark.
The next thing I knew, the girl knocked the glasses off the nerdy girls face, who then grabbed “tough” girl, slammed her to the ground and proceeded to give her a beating like I have never seen since. Someone clearly had taught her how to stand up for herself. She completely neutralized her into a crumpled heap on the ground. The ‘tough girl’ was out looking for a fight, someone to intimidate and truly messed with the WRONG person.
I still laugh thinking about that. It was a huge victory for the dorks like me back then. The girl who got beat down was the laughingstock of the entire school and It more or less ended that crew’s reign of terror.
20. Don’t sell other people’s stuff, that’s a huge jerk move
My mother had a habit of doing a garage sale at least once a year, and invariably sold many things that she thought were cluttering up our rooms or the garage. We felt wronged so many times because that special shirt or stuffed animal or other prized item had been disappeared, never to return. The sense of loss was almost unbearable for me as a child. Our complaints fell on deaf ears, as mother would just defer with “oh I had no idea you wanted that”, and go on about her business.
One winter as we were assembling our gear for the first ski trip of the year, my mother couldn’t find her ski boots anywhere. I said, “maybe you sold them at the garage sale, har har”, to which she responded, “Oh, no honey, those were your boots I sold”.
Cue the pregnant pause as we all held our breath and stared at her, knowing that her boots were the same color and a very similar design to mine. And then the delicious satisfaction of watching her realize she’d done to herself what we’d been going through all those years. Never did let her live it down.
19. Nothing like some blatant sexism to lose out on a sale
Once while my dad was on a trip, in the middle of winter our furnace broke. My mom went down to the basement and checked out the situation. She figured out what was broken and called a repair guy to tell him what she had found. The repair guy was on speakerphone, I held the phone while my mom held a flashlight and inspected the furnace. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she finished her initial explanation and the guy replied with “Why don’t you put your husband on the phone sweetie?”
She snatched the phone from my hand and shooed me out before she cursed him out so I never got to hear her exact words but I imagine he got an earful.
18. What can I say except, you’re welcome
I went to college in Hawaii, my roommate was a very big Samoan guy that played football at the university. On the weekends, he and his friends (all of whom were really nice, mellow guys) would pile into this old beat up pickup truck with a camper on the back, and they would drive down a couple streets in Waikiki.
I was following them in traffic moving slower than people walk because that’s just what kids did back then. There were a couple of tourist guys (college-aged) on mopeds in between my car and their truck. The moped guys were obviously under the influence, and pretending to zoom up to their truck, then brake hard, over and over again.
Once, their moped hit the truck (not hard enough that it did any damage I don’t think), now you see this little door open on the camper, and 4 big Samoans climb out. Maybe this is my exaggerated memory, but I remember one guy just lifted up and flung to the ground like a doll, while the other guy got a punch to the gut. Those guys crawled to the sidewalk, and some strangers moved the mopeds to the side of the road, and they just turned up the next street and we all met back at the dorm. Was crazy.
17. Everyone thought you were supposed to respect your elders because they are old, turns out no, respect them because they will hurt you if you don’t
I was living in a city about 15 years ago that was known for a lot of violent crime. This young guy, maybe 19 or 20, knocked on a fairly elderly (in his 70’s, as I recall) neighbor’s house and then tried to push his way in and rob him. There was a struggle and the old man fought off this young dude with an old rotary phone.
It was on the news, and they showed footage from inside the old man’s house. There was broken stuff everywhere, and the young man ended up crashed through the old man’s glass coffee table. They interviewed the old man, who was gentle as could be, nary a scratch on him, saying something along the lines of “I know this kid, he’s friends with my grandson. I didn’t want to hurt him, but they’ve got to learn that they can’t just go breaking into people’s houses to rob them.”
The young man didn’t die, but he ended up with some traumatic brain injury’s that he wasn’t expected to fully recover from.
16. And everything worked out
My wife is a structural engineer and has had to put up with her share of condescending males, although later in her career word got out that she was very good at her job and it became much less so. Sometimes she would come home from work and tell me what happened and I would get so angry, she would just smile and say it will work out. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t get angry and talk back at these guys. Later I realized it was because she was confident in her abilities and she didn’t feel the need to. In fact I think she got more satisfaction from changing their opinion with action and not words. I’m sure that is why she became so respected in town.
There was one time I got to witness this first hand. It was a Saturday and we had planned to take a day trip to shop and explore in a nearby town. On the way she planned to stop by a job site where ironworkers were starting to erect the steel for a building she had designed and managed the fabrication of. We get there and this huge ironworker struts over screaming expletives “this is the worst steel we’ve ever worked with. Nothing fits. All the dimensions are off”. He’s getting in her face and I’m starting to get out of the truck. Not sure what I’m going to exactly do with this hulk, pretty sure I’m about to get myself beat up. She just shoots me a look and a hand motion that says “stay in the truck, I got this.”
She starts asking questions and he cuts her off “why did they send the *&#* secretary over here?” All the other ironworkers start laughing. She ignores him and says “can you answer my questions?”
She asks her questions then asks to go up on the lift to take some plumb measurements and dimensions. She comes back to the truck, spreads the drawings on the hood, does some calculations, makes some notes. All while the crew is just staring her down.
She finishes, hands the marked up drawings back to the foreman and says “ok hear’s the deal, see that beam up there? It’s pre-cambered and you have it upside down, that’s spreading the columns out of plumb. See this beam? You have it in the wrong spot, it goes over there, it’s too short in that spot and is pulling the columns in. See this schedule? These are the piece marks so you know what goes where. Just a suggestion, but if you loosen up these beam connections, set that corner column plumb and rig everything from that point, it will probably go together better, right now you’re fighting yourself”.
The foreman just stared at her slack-jawed and walked away grumbling something about it better work or they would walk off the job. She reminded him that he was a sub to her and that might not be in his best interest.
After our day trip, we stopped back at the job site and 75% of the building steel was up. Foreman comes over smiling wiping his hands with a rag and reaches out to shake her hand. “I got to hand it to you little lady, we did everything you said and that building went up smooth as butter”. She just smiled and said, “I’m glad it worked out”.
15. Do not pass go, do not collect $200
I know a lady who was trained in military intelligence, 5 foot tall, skinny as all get out. While working for our tax department she put a guy away for tax fraud. When he was released he turned up to her house and stabbed her in the chest but only hit the breast bone, she just looked him in the eye and preceded to beat his face in with a 7D Maglite, put him in hospital and back in prison.
For those that don’t know a 7D Maglite is a cross between a baton and a torch, all metal construction and as the name suggests takes 7 D size batteries
14. It’s the calm, quiet ones you gotta watch out for
My Dad worked physically and was known in our area as a bit of a gentle giant. Very quiet, very controlled, but very capable of handling himself. He had cancer for a while when I was a kid and was understandably a complete shell of himself during the treatment. However one day during this period, I witnessed him vault a fence and chase down a group of teenage guys (17-18) who were trying to mess with my sister, who was around 12. He caught one, and instead of beating him bloody, lifted him off his feet and held him there, as if weighing up the apocalyptic beating he was about to issue, before slowly setting him down and letting him go.
A few days later, a bunch of these teens arrived on our door, white as ghosts, with their parents, holding a signed apology letter. The parents came to hear about it and realized there was no way a normally restrained man, undergoing chemotherapy would react that way for no reason, and I think Dad showing such controlled rage and restraint scared the young guys even more than if he had beaten the living snot out of one of them.
Sometimes it’s best not to lose the head, and never, ever anger a calm man.
13. Protip: If you are gonna get in a fight in a bar, don’t go after the designated driver
I had a friend in college, we’ll call him John. He’s an awesome guy but has a sketchy childhood due to bad parents. His dad took off when he was a kid and his mom was an addict. He spent time living with his grandma and in foster homes. He didn’t have two pennies to rub together but went to college on a football scholarship. He wasn’t a big guy, he played safety, but he was very athletic and solid muscle. But he was also very mild mannered and quiet.
Anyway, that sets the story up.
We were all out doing what you do in college hopping from bar to bar. John had hardly had anything to drink because he didn’t have a ton of money for that sort of thing and wasn’t the sort of guy to comfortably accept lots of free drinks. As we’re walking down the street between establishments, one of the girls in our group starts getting catcalled. We’re all pretty hammered so there were lots of words yelled back and forth. It escalated to one of the guys coming over but there weren’t any signs of danger at this point, just college idiots being college idiots.
John hadn’t been involved in the yelling except to tell everyone to calm down and let it go. He was trying to guide us all away from the confrontation like a sober sheepdog when the guy who had been doing the catcalling throws this wild punch, hitting John. It was a complete cheap shot but he mostly missed the mark. The hook got more shoulder than head/face. But John turned and before any of us knew what was going on John had put his shoulder into the guy’s stomach, drove him to the ground, and went to town on his guy’s face. We pulled him off and the whole fight must have only lasted 5-10 seconds. But the guy was out cold and bleeding in the street. After the fact, we found out he ended up in the ER with a broken nose and orbital bone. The guy ended up dropping out and we didn’t see him again. But everyone learned that you don’t mess with John.
12. It’s a good thing your brother multi-classed into barbarian
Growing up, the next door neighbor kid was a TOTAL bully to everyone. He literally pushed you around and knocked you down for hours while laughing just because he was taller and stronger. He also fashioned a homemade whip he beat our dogs with over our fence once. The problems ended though when one day he told my brother something about my Mother I can’t repeat, and my brother just lost all the expression on his face. The kid was a foot and a half taller and about 60 lbs heavier than my brother.
Without a word, my brother leaned forward and shoved his shoulder into his chest as he wrapped his other skinny green bean arm around the kid and pulled him off his feet and over his head and just drove this kid’s head into the ground by bending over backward. He nearly killed that snot-nosed kid by breaking his neck. He had to have surgery and wear a neck brace for almost 6 months after that ONE thing my brother did to him. We started joking about my bro “hulking” out after that.
11. Judge me by my size, do you?
My boss invited a handful of us over to her house for some burgers one Friday night. Her 5-year old daughter sat down next to some of us and wanted to play Uno. A coworker of mine sitting next to her made some comments about how cute it was that she wanted to play games and was generally extra patronizing.
The five-year-old dealt the cards and proceeded to destroy us. I assume she had some help stacking the deck, but her entire hand was full of the draw-4s. By the time she said “Uno” the girl who had said she was cute was ready to drop kick her but couldn’t because she was holding 20+ cards.
10. This kid will do great in prison
Back in high school, there was this small younger student who had something to prove. He was constantly trying to pick fights, particularly with people bigger or stronger than him for a while, and eventually he chose the wrong target.
He went up to one of my classmates, a senior, and started harassing him. He’d hit him up a few times before, just talking trash, and got laughed off every time because it’s just words. I guess he said something really crude about the guys girlfriend though as they got to the main entrance to the school. He finally got his fight, with the captain of the school weightlifting team who also leads the local school-aged rugby team.
The teacher break room was right there, as well as the principal’s office, and half the school was headed that way to walk out with them ahead of us and five teachers watching. So, we had a pretty good audience to see this guy pick up the annoying little jerk with one hand around his throat, hold him up in the air, and then slam him down to the ground like he was celebrating a touchdown with him as the football.
Dude dusted off his hands then stepped back to wait for his punishment. It took like ten seconds for anyone to even move, because the teachers were completely blown away. Several different teachers independently assumed at first that they were just playing around or something, and then realized that this guy had just been smote like a toddler trying to fight Zeus.
There wasn’t even a fight to break up, the guy was walking funny for a month afterwards because every part of him was bruised on the back, and he shut the hell up for… I gotta say, like at least a month.
9. Justice will be done
A girl in my class in 7th grade had trouble walking – she supposedly had polio as a kid but I don’t know. She was carrying her lunch tray to her seat at lunch when the school bully walked up and kicked out her back foot, causing her to fall and spill her lunch. Like a cobra, she popped back up in a second and swung her tray at him like a baseball bat, with the ridge of the hard plastic tray hitting him across the nose, badly breaking his nose. People starting clapping (seriously) and he calmly walked to his seat (how he kept it together getting blasted that hard I don’t know). He sat there for a second pouring blood while his friends tried to console him until the teachers came over, got him, and led him away. Because of her condition, she was the last one walking to her seat meaning it happened in front of everyone. I don’t recall now for how long, but he was suspended and nothing happened to her (she struggled getting to classes because of people bumping into her and her falling so teachers were willing to look out for her).
8. Still not a bad retirement plan: Paid housing, food, medical
I heard a story of a man who was bullied young who went on to have a fulfilling life. Years later when he was elderly he went to the bully’s house asked if it was him then shot him point blank. He went to prison for it for life but most of his life was already over.
7. And people wonder why the police have such a public image problem
A cop friend of mine told me this story. He’s a big dude, martial artist, and a huge teddy bear of a personality, and at the time was driving a small, small car. Think that episode of the Simpsons where Nelson gets called out. Anyway, he just finished a shift and was driving home a few towns over. That place is known for cops to go “fishing” where they pull you over first, then find something.
So they pull this guy over and start by asking him to step out of the car. He doesn’t. “Sir, we have reports of someone matching the description of both you and your car causing trouble, please step out now.” (They actually got me and a friend with this year’s later. 4 cop cars, 7+ officers, all of us searched and our spotless records ran over an expired registration)
My buddy keeps his cool and informs him he won’t be stepping out of anywhere. “So you mean to tell me there is another 6’4 man with a shaved head driving a 87 Ford Fiero at 12am in this town?”
So this cop keeps pressing him, yea, we’re not asking anymore, get out. So he does.
Standing a good few inches taller than this bad cop, he asks for the supervising officer’s name and his badge number. Friend just finished his shift, still had his radio on and knows the story is fake, and doesn’t like bored cops fishing. The cop was reported, but we assume nothing happened.
6. Who needs teeth, anyway
Two idiot teenage thugs trying to mug a man, who was wearing an old field jacket.
The guy was an instructor for the military police, in hand to hand combat, arresting techniques, and under the 1 size larger loose jacket was a 200 pounds of solid muscle brick waĺl.
It was awful like seeing a train wreck, you want to turn your head, but you just can’t and keep watching.
After it ended, I don’t think you can found 4 teeth between the two of them.
5. And that’s how you lose your job
My mom had this phone call on speaker. An insurance customer service agent was refusing to fax proof of insurance to the ER my sister was in because “it was after hours. We’ll fax it in the morning” It was in fact the middle of the night, but my sister was in Spain, where it was early evening, and they were refusing to treat her until they got proof of insurance. My mom said, “This plan is through my employer, which employs people traveling all over the world who are all on this plan. It was chosen specifically to deal with this sort of situation.” The agent refused to budge. My mom asked for a supervisor. “No one is available. Call again in the morning”
My mom then said, “Well, you’re going to want to wake someone up or just send that fax, because I am the person who makes the decision on what insurance plan my company uses. When I take all 50,000 people and their dependents off that plan, I will name you personally to your company when I do so. If you think I’m kidding, I suggest you google my name.” A quick google result shows that she is in fact in a position to do exactly what she said. They faxed the paperwork within 10 minutes. My mom still called the vice president of whatever at the company the next day and told them that if she heard about this happening to any of her company’s employees, they would be looking at other companies. I have never, ever seen her pull any sort of power play in my entire life… not until her daughter’s health was threatened.
4. Gotta respect the badge
Co-worker is out driving around with his wife. He takes her to the salon for a haircut and waits for her in the car. The salon is in a part of town that isn’t that great. She comes out and back in the car and they pull away. A couple of cops swing in behind them and follow for a block or two. Eventually, the cops pull them over and start asking them questions.
Now, my co-worker is white. His wife is black. As the cops question them, it becomes clear that they suspect he’s picked up a lady of the night. He tries to explain that they are, in fact, together. The cops are getting increasingly smug and derisive with their questions. “Oooooh, this is your wife, huh? Interesting. You two seem like a… surprising… match!” That sort of thing. Increasingly insulting toward his wife, and increasingly racist.
Throughout this, his wife keeps quiet. Finally, she’s had enough. Says so out loud. Her exact words were, “You know what? I’m done with these jokers.” She pulls out her ID. Her FEDERAL ID. Shows it to the cops. And then, ice cold, says, “FBI Special Agent Smith. Do we have some sort of problem here, gentlemen?”
My co-worker said the cops went white as a sheet and wide-eyed. Apparently, they turned on their heels and practically ran back to the cruiser without saying a word, hopped in, and just took off.
3. Some say he is still in the puddle to this day
I was in India with my Swedish friend. She was a semi-professional handball player at the time, so she was pretty muscular. Now, if you’ve ever been to India with or as a white woman, you’re going to get groped. Often. Not to say all men in India are such pigs, but it’s a populated country and enough of them are to be an almost daily or in some cases multiple times a day event.
It was just after a heavy monsoon rain in Goa and we were walking along a dirt path near the beach, right alongside this giant twenty centimeter deep puddle that basically covered the whole road. She’d been ‘accidentally’ groped twice already that day, and had done nothing, but this time was different.
Five or six youngish guys, late teens, maybe early twenties, all in designer jeans, sneakers, and baseball hats and so on despite us being at the beach (basically rich kids from Mumbai) were walking along blocking the whole path and literally just grabbing girls as they passed by them.
Then they got to her and one of them just ran his hand up from her waist, across her breast and…
She socked him across the jaw so fast and hard he just crumpled backward before anyone knew what was happening. Right into the huge mud puddle, in all his designer gear. He splashed around a bit, and we thought his friends were going to kick off but, of course, they all put their heads down and kept walking, terrified as she started shouting at him.
He tried to get up, reaching for his hat which was floating nearby, and she puts her foot on his chest and just pushes him back into the puddle, right down, making sure he was completely covered, face and everything.
‘Stay there till you can’t see me anymore,’ she said, and we walked off.
I checked back, and he was still lying in the puddle, even though she was fifty meters away or so, just waiting for her to leave.
It was glorious!
2. I’m not sure what happened here, but it wasn’t good
So, about 10 years ago, while I was still living in Mexico, I had a situation happen that, to this day, makes me think. I was not much of a party person, but my brother was. We were not rich either or thought we had connections. Anyways, one day, my brother goes out to a party at a club. He’s about 5’10 (tall in Mexico), very strong as he loved going to the gym, and he knows how to fight. One of his friends picks a fight with some rich boy, to which a person at the club approaches my brother and tells him “Dude…your friend is picking a fight with the wrong guy”, turns out, he was related to some gang or even cartel.
My brother then proceeds to go separate his friend, but at this time, the bouncers of the club have already started mobilizing and kicking people out. The main bouncer was this tall dude who used to do MMA. And he’s trying to get my brother to move quicker. My brother has his arms raised and walking to the exit, but this dude is trying to bring him down, kicking his legs, punching his torso, just to abuse his power. He can’t, and as my brother is getting out, the dude runs ahead of him, turns around, and leap-kicks my brother in the face, breaking his nose. My brother does not fall and just walks to his car and drives home.
The next day, after going to the hospital, he talks with my dad, telling him what happened and we leave it at that. Two weeks later, my dad calls my brother and tells us the next:
“Hey man so….you don’t have to worry about this guy anymore. I was at a high school reunion with some friends and the topic came up. I talked to an old friend of mine that seemed interested in what happened and then he told me “Don’t worry, I got you covered”. I didn’t think much of this, I hadn’t seen him in a while, so not sure what he was saying, but…” And as he finishes the story, he shows us a picture of the bouncer, bloodied and tied up to the train tracks.
Brother and I were freaked out. That next weekend, he went back to the club. The bouncer that broke his nose instantly passed him to a table, served them some drinks and apologized to him, telling him that “anything he needed, to just ask”.
1. Rethink your decision
Leaving a bar, a girl from my martial arts class was walking several paces ahead of our group with a couple of her friends. There were 2 guys standing ahead of where we were all walking and we could see that they were sort of eyeing the girls that were walking their direction.
When the martial arts girl walked past, one of the guys reached out and grabbed her by the arm and tried to drag her over towards him. Noooooope. She gave a nice little in-step and drove her heel right on top of his foot, then punched him square in the solar plexus.
She is a black belt and could’ve seriously messed this guy up if she felt like it. But she understands what her training is for. It was the best example I’ve ever seen of anyone using their martial arts training.