It’s a safe bet that every woman has encountered a Nice Guy. He’s a fellow who believes he’s nice. He insists on it. He may even act nice, but it’s never more than an act, and it’s quickly abandoned as soon as a woman tells him she’s not interested.
Boys like this seem to think that women are vending machines: if they spend enough kindness coins, then they deserve a date, a relationship, or intimacy in return. They tend to go a bit crazy when they find out they’re not entitled to a woman’s body and time just because they exist.
If Nice Guy buys a woman a drink, she should go home with him. A girl who’s polite is automatically interested. Nice Guys constantly complain about getting friend-zoned — as though friendship is some kind of punishment. At best, they’re annoyances. At worst, they’re dangerous. Nice Girls exist, too, and both women and men have had to suffer these fools.
Do any of the following stories resonate with you? We sure hope not!
45. (No) Thank U, Next
My worst Nice Guy experience was probably the creepy mid-50s man who harassed me for months and finally made his key move of telling that he liked my pheromones. Then he mansplained what pheromones are and got very angry when 19-year-old me turned him down and told me that what I needed was a good experience. Yeah, nah, you gross pervert.
44. Just About Doesn’t Count
As soon as I started dated my now fiancé, a close guy friend/roommate turned out to be a very toxic Nice Guy. He had never made any indication that he wanted to date me. Then one night he freaked out on me because he was, “JUST ABOUT TO ASK ME OUT!” and then he told me that my fiancé was going to dump me anyway so I might as well cut my losses early and go out with him instead. So instead I cut my losses with the Nice Guy, moved in with my fiancé and have been blissfully happy ever since.
43. Paying The Troll Toll
I had recently moved back into my parents’ house after a long and toxic relationship. I had just started dating again and met a guy on OkCupid. He was mostly a gentleman and polite, seemed a little lonely because he was from out of state and hadn’t made a lot of friends yet.
We had been hanging out regularly for several weeks and hadn’t really discussed where we were headed, what our expectations were, etc. I was still seeing other people and assumed we were casual.
Apparently, he saw things a lot more seriously. I posted a photo of myself at a museum that was obviously taken by someone else—posing next to an exhibit—and he contacted me as soon as he saw it to ask who I was with. When he found out it was a guy he was very upset, literally screaming at me. Apparently he considered me his girlfriend.
He was livid, it was scary. He said he wanted me to pay him back for the money he spent on hanging out with me (getting food and driving me 30 min each way to hang out at his house) and that he was coming to my house that night to collect it.
I agreed to leave $100 under the doormat if he never talked to me or came to my house ever again, and he agreed. He got off work late at night, like around midnight, and when he collected his money he pounded on my door and screamed profanities at the top of his lungs. Then, when I came to the door, I told him I would call the cops as he ran away screaming.
Pretty sure I got a prank call from his roommate a few days later. Blocked all possible forms of contact.
42. Sacre Bleu, A Nice Guy In Paris
I was in Paris for the weekend and had just arrived. My friend who I was meeting in the city wouldn’t be there for a few hours, so I just went to sit in front of the Eiffel Tower and sketch for a while.
Soon after I sat down, a guy came and sat down near me. I had headphones in, and just ignored him, but he slowly scooted closer until he was a few feet from me.
He started talking to me, ignoring my headphones and my work; he clearly wasn’t going to give up. I eventually stopped blatantly ignoring him and took out my headphones, hoping for a few minutes of stilted and awkward conversation at most.
He would not leave me alone. He talked about his graduate program, how he was looking for a woman, how smart he was, how he traveled so much, and a load of other personal glorification of how great he was. I told him repeatedly that I was enjoying my alone time, that I had a boyfriend, that I’m not in the mood for chatting with anyone, etc. He brushed it off like I hadn’t said a thing.
So I went back to working, ignoring him as he talked at me. I didn’t know the city well and I don’t speak French, so I wasn’t keen to go wander around by myself.
Maybe 15 minutes later, I couldn’t take it anymore and got up to move, and he followed me across the park. I told him I wanted to be alone, which didn’t help at all. When I got up to leave again, and he tried to rip my drawing out of my sketchbook because I had “drawn it for him.”
Somehow I managed to walk off quickly with my drawing and wandered around by myself until my friend arrived.
41. Lunch With A Side Of Manipulation
When I was in high school, I had this best friend who had come to me and told me he liked me as more than a friend. I politely told him I didn’t feel the same and would be much more comfortable just remaining friends. He said he was okay with this and things almost went back to normal but he started being more withdrawn. Then one day at lunch he was sitting against a wall all alone pouting and I came over to see if he was okay and he told me about how his depression was so much worse lately and he was just feeling so suicidal and that “I wouldn’t want to end myself if a girl would ever actually like me back…” Took all of my self-control not to end him myself.
40. NG Expects Praise For The Bare Minimum: Shocker
I went to a rave with a friend and his group of friends and had a great time (and I was really inebriated). The next day when me and my friend were talking about the rave and how messed up I was, he told me that I’m really lucky that he and his friends were good guys and that nothing happened to me… What?!
39. He Finishes Last ‘Cause He’s Trash
I spent three-and-a-half years, the last of which we lived together, with a self-proclaimed Nice Guy. In those years, we had fights consisting of him calling me every name you can think of; I was being accused of wanting to cheat on him constantly, I was constantly being told I was stupid, being told that my family was trash, and there were a couple physical altercations as well.
Finally, after numerous attempts to fix the problems and being given every excuse in the book, I decided “running back to the trailer home” wasn’t that bad of a deal.
He goes off about how he’s given me so much and put up with so many things other guys wouldn’t, including my having seizures in my sleep, and then finishes it off with: “But ya know, nice guys always finish last.”
38. Fragile Egos At Play
In college, I worked at the campus bookstore, and a guy would come through my line and make smalltalk. He wasn’t bad looking, just a little socially awkward. One day he asked me out while I was ringing him up. He looked so vulnerable standing there, and there were other people in line waiting with glee for me to shoot him down, so I said yes because I didn’t want to embarrass him. And, hey, who knows?
So we went out on a date to see a Hitchcock film at a campus auditorium. I have no idea why, but he suddenly tried to jump over the row of seats and caught his foot and went down hard. His nose was gushing blood and he could barely walk on his ankle. I was trying to help him, and he screamed, “Leave me alone!” I asked him if he was sure because I wanted to stay and help. But he screamed abusive profanity at me until I left.
Never saw him at the bookstore again. I still have no idea what his deal was.
37. Using Kindness As Control
My ex-boyfriend would keep tallies on how many “nice things” he did for me and used it against me when I didn’t meet his standards. He used it as a way to control, manipulate, and guilt me. I told him he was too controlling and his response was “I’ve just never loved someone so much and I just care about you a lot.”
Yeah, never again.
36. That Ain’t Love, Home Slice
I’ve been in a relationship the entirety of my adult life, nearly 12 years now. We are trusting and emotionally stable enough to enjoy nights out at bars/clubs away from each other. For some reason though, this is unfathomable to some people. Particularly Nice Guys. The amount of times I’ve had some version of the following conversation is exhausting:
Nice Guy: Hey cutie, blah blah blah. [Gross tactless flirting].
Me: Oh hey, thanks that’s really sweet of you [bleh] but I’m actually engaged.
NG: Well, where’s your man then?
Me: Oh he’s at home tonight, I’m out with the girls.
NG: He lets you go out without him?
Me: Yeah, of course, we trust each other! We’re comfortable enough to socialize independently of each other.
NG: Clearly he doesn’t love you then. He doesn’t care enough about you to make sure you’re safe and not cheating. In fact, he’s probably cheating on you right now. You should let me buy you a drink, I’d be a much better boyfriend. I’d protect you and never let you out of my sight because I care so much.
35. Nice Guy With A Twist
In high school, my best friend and I were friends with this Nice Guy. She worked with him, and we were into some of the same geeky stuff, but not much else in common.
He asked my friend out, she politely told him no, that she’d rather just be friends. He seemed to take it well, and we all continued hanging out. Over the course of the next two years, he followed her around everywhere, managed to go to several school dances with her (as “friends”) and asked her out a couple handfuls of times. He always threw himself out there, always created embarrassing situations.
She constantly rejected him. But he kept at it.
To spite her, he asked me out, expecting me to freak out on him so he could win her pity. Unfortunately for him, I said yes. We spent our “date” driving around looking for my friend. I pretended not to know where she was so he would back off. It ended pretty anticlimactically.
We were both bored, so we kept hanging out away from my friend. Turns out, when he stopped stalking her, we noticed that he and I had a lot in common.
We’re married now and have three children.
34. Friends With Conditions
I’ve had a couple “nice guys” that took FOREVER to just leave me alone. But the worst out of all of them was my best friend of four years dropping me like a hot potato because I wouldn’t date him. It took about two-and-a-half years after that to reconnect, and now he will answer when I call, but it won’t ever be like it was before.
33. He’ll Be Right Here Waiting For You
I was considering dating one of my friends in college, but was getting cold feet and second thoughts. So I went to spend some time alone and figure things out. I process better that way — you know, the nerdy, introverted type.
The lack of an immediate answer made him decide to plant himself outside my dorm room, and he didn’t move for what must have been eight or nine hours, waiting for me.
32. A Ph.D. In Creepology
I’ve had several. This one was my very first.
I’m new to the country, new to grad school, and my roommates are jerks. There’s this older Ph.D. student who invites me to stuff. So many events! I go to one, but after that, I find it really hard to make it to those parties subsequently because I’m swamped with course work and research. I wonder how all these people get the time to party.
The older Ph.D. student and I become friends; he’s sweet and all. I’m grateful to finally have friends. I’m recently broken up with my long-distance boyfriend so I’m wondering if I should date him and pondering whether he feels similarly. So far so good.
This guy then suddenly tells me he received an email from a friend of mine saying I have feelings for him and if he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings, he should let me down gently. I look at that email address and it’s from someone who was on the same mailing list as I was. Not a friend, just an acquaintance. Certainly not anyone who I confide in. It strikes me that this older Ph.D. student Googled my email, and when it showed up on a mailing list he picked another name from the list and spoofed the email to be from him.
This reeks of desperation. I’m turned off. I move on.
He eventually asks me out. His words were: “My parents would never approve of you, but will you marry me?” Like, NO.
I minimize contact with him and tell him to move on.
And then after I graduate, I hear what really was going on. Remember those parties I was initially invited to? The other students didn’t party that much. Those events were conducted purely to give him a chance to hit on me. And the reason everyone from our country in grad school seemed to be there was this guy had told everyone he had a thing for me and wanted to create situations where I would hang out with him. I was mortally embarrassed.
And it got even creepier. Apparently, when I was posting on the school’s social media page asking for new student advice, he saw my profile and decided then and there that he wanted to date me. And everything from that moment on was engineered to get me to meet him and like him.
And after I turned him down, I had issues with hobby groups I was a part of. Turned out he was pulling the strings, spreading rumors about me to them so they would hate me.
I was basically learning that two years of my life were mostly lies.
31. This Guy’s No Guitar Hero
I met a guy at Guitar Center who was looking for stands of some sort. I foolishly and obliviously gave him my number so that I could text him the address of another music store. We begin talking about video games via text, and things are going pretty well until he asks me to be friends with benefits.
Keep in mind that he already had a girlfriend and even told me so.
I repeatedly said no, and he kept saying things like, “I’ll treat you with respect,” and ,“I’m not a jerk.” Towards the end of our texting conversation, he said that I was lucky that he was even bothering me with his request to be friends with benefits. I had to block him so that he would leave me alone.
What a sweetheart.
30. Fanboys Go Too Far
I make YouTube videos and at one point had a PO box where people could send me letters. Most of my viewers are teenage girls, but I had a few guys in their late 20s/30s who would send me cards or packages with presents. There was one guy who would keep dropping off boxes with candies, toys, makeup… a ton of stuff. He’d also have flowers delivered to my PO box but I only checked up on it every two weeks so sometimes I’d find dead flowers.
Anyway, I always just thanked him for his support but told him to stop sending me presents because it was making me feel uncomfortable, but he kept sending over boxes. I had a boyfriend at the time and featured him in a photo on my social media. Suddenly I get these super long emails saying how I lead him on and how he just wanted to be my friend/be there for me. I made him a mod in my twitch chat, does that mean nothing? He had also included his cell number in a letter once and also said I had never called him, I was a heartless woman, etc.
I’m like… dude I never really talked to you in the first place and told you to stop sending me things.
29. A Thin Line Between Love And Obsession
The worst Nice Guys are the ones who don’t give up. It’s one thing to turn someone down and have them back off, but I’ve had some people who refuse to give up. I think a lot of them assume that they will eventually win you over like some kind of rom-com, but it’s usually just creepy.
A guy who lived in my dorm during freshman year of college professed that he loved me one day because it was killing him seeing me get close to another one of our friends. I let him down, but he continued to pursue me for the next six months. He wrote me poems, would play me songs that reminded him of me, and he would tell me I’m beautiful and perfect in Italian (a language we share) when other people were present.
He even told me that he didn’t know if he could live without me and might have been at risk to harm himself if we didn’t date. Even when I started dating someone else, this behavior continued until he decided there was another girl he was in love with.
It gets kind of scary when people confuse obsession for love.
28. No Drink Is Worth That Much
When I was at university, I went out one night and a guy insisted on buying me drinks. I was raised pretty sheltered and it was one of my first nights out so I didn’t know that some guys meant this indebted me to them. We chatted, but it felt really forced and I just wasn’t into it. I stupidly gave him my phone number because I was in a new town and didn’t really know anybody.
A few days later he asks if I want to go to a movie. I had a big exam coming up and told him that the next week wasn’t going to work, before I could even finish saying that the week after I’d be free, he launched into a tirade about how he was so nice and bought me all of those drinks and I was being such a jerk to him.
I let him know that it was his choice to buy those drinks and that I wasn’t aware he thought was buying my time as well. He then accused me of stealing the money paid for those drinks by saying I was not reciprocating. His anger over this was so scary. I ended up sending one of my guy friends to meet him and pay him the $12 for my drinks and never speaking to him again.
I never let a guy buy me a drink or dinner after that ever again.
27. The Nice Guy Blew It
I once really hit it off with this guy at a pub — he was attractive, an amazing kisser, made good conversation, etc. We exchanged numbers and planned to hang out that night, but somehow our respective friend groups got separated and it didn’t happen. Oh well, we’ll get together another time, I thought.
But then I wake up from his text at 3 AM: “I should have gone to bed hours ago. YOU RUINED MY NIGHT!” (Because I didn’t go home with him?) Followed by WEEKS of him blowing up my phone, asking me why I wasn’t texting him back and why I lost interest. Hmm, wonder why?
26. No, Pal, The Friendship Has Sailed
A “nice guy” told me he would bash my head in with a brick and harm my entire family after he asked me out and I turned him down. He texted me a month later to apologize and ask if we could still be friends.
25. More Than A Language Barrier
I met this guy online who offered to help me learn his native language. Every day I would send him journal entries and he would correct them for me. I offered to help him as well but he said just chatting with me in English helped enough.
A few weeks into this, he says he is going to visit the city that I live in and says we should meet. I tell him I’d rather we didn’t because I have a boyfriend (which I had already mentioned many times) and I think he might be looking for a date. He insists that he only wants to meet as friends, but I tell him I am busy.
Then suddenly he calls me saying he has arrived and has brought some American chips for me (I had mentioned before that I really missed American chips). I agree to meet him for coffee, only to find that he has bought me TONS of gifts, including wine and wine glasses. As politely as I can, I reject the gifts, but he insists that I must take them because his arms are sore from carrying them.
We quickly have coffee, during which time he tells me he must marry a white girl because the girls in his country are all shallow, and he wants his children to be powerful and being half white would make them more powerful. I am a white girl. so I make an excuse to leave because I am uncomfortable.
I text him to tell him that I don’t think we should be friends anymore because I think he is looking for more and it makes me uncomfortable. He immediately threatens to hurt my family members, noting he has the names of them on Facebook. He also reminds me that he knows where I go to school.
Terrified, I block him on all platforms. Four years later and he still makes attempts to contact me via his mom and brother’s cell numbers.
24. A Pack Of Nice Guys
I lived one building next to a guy friend in college, so it was like a two-minute walk to my apartment from his. There had been increased crime in the apartment complex so when I was leaving an apartment party from his apartment he offered to walk me home just in case because it was 2 AM.
He went in for a kiss at my door and I politely declined, but thanked him for walking me. He was really nice about it but when I saw all of his friends on campus the next day, they were yelling that I “owed it to at least make out with him for being so nice to me.”
Ah yes, very classy guys. Probably why almost all of them were single.
23. An Element of Control
He was my ex. I stupidly agreed to go for a picnic with him a few weeks after we broke up. He absolutely insisted on being a gentleman, and by ‘being a gentleman’ I mean treating me like a child by taking the bottle out of my hand when I went to pour myself a drink so he could do it. Every time. The same when it came to making the sandwiches, he insisted and pushed me out of the way even though I wanted to make my own. He wouldn’t let me.
It infuriated me, reminded me why he wasn’t good for me, and I never went out with him again.
22. Grief Counseling Gone Horribly Wrong
The morning that my best friend took his own life (I was 15, he was 17), a boy in his grade came up to me in the cafeteria. He’d previously been creepy with just about everyone I knew but it was a solemn day so I figured even he would be normal. Nope.
He sits down and proceeds to tell me that he’d seen my friend’s body in the courtyard, and if I wanted to make out to take my mind off of this stuff, he’d be happy to help me out.
21. Shamed For Saying No
I was joking with a ‘nice guy’ friend about dating him and thought he was joking too. He kissed me and I didn’t stop at the moment. After that I politely let him know that I wasn’t interested in him. I later found out he told everyone we actually dated, I broke his heart, and I’m addicted to intimacy.
20. Entitled, Buddy, Not Courageous
I’m a dude, but I’m going to go ahead and post my experience. There’s a local bar that’s always packed on the weekends here where I live (college town). One Saturday night, my buddies and I are grabbing some drinks after watching a concert and the place is packed. I’m noticing a total neckbeard “nice guy” following around a group of girls that are clearly way out his league. I mean this dude has the neckbeard, the exposed belly, and the anime shirt and these chicks are perfect tens.
Normally I root for the underdog but, in this situation, I could tell these girls were bothered by this guy and he clearly wasn’t getting the hint. The girls ended up behind us and I could hear the guy begging for one girl, in particular, to go home with him. “Come on. Are you serious? I’m way better than these guys here. Just give me a chance.”
Though I had to hand it to the guy, he had guts.
19. You Never Know What He’s Hiding
He was a lonely guy that just seemed to repel women. People found him weird. He was lonely. He was my boyfriend’s best friend in high school. I thought he was a really nice guy.
We kept in touch over the years as we grew and I moved across the country. Casually for me, but I knew on his end he really valued the friendship.
I wound up moving home after my divorce with my three children. He kept wanting to hang out. We did, a few times. He was my buddy, after all.
My dear friend is getting married so I get my buddy a gig as the DJ. The bride remarks that this guy is strange but nice.
At the wedding reception, I unwittingly ingest a fair share of drinks. I am dangerously inebriated, find my buddy, ask him to get me home.
Instead, he takes me to his house, where he proceeds to assault me. He reveals he’s been obsessed with me for decades. I manage to escape by convincing him that everything is okay.
“Nice guy” was all an act designed to trick me into trusting him.
18. Real Nice Guys Don’t Commit Assault
I was 18 years old and had just started dating. This guy met me at my part-time job and said that I was really nice and that he wanted to take me out on a date. I said sure.
So he picks me up in a Shelby Mustang. And he is really handsome. I feel like I’ve won the lottery. However, right there… not even two seconds into our car ride he tries to pull over and assault me. I’m like… no. I push his hand away and tell him that he needs to stop trying to assault me or I will throw his keys. He laughs and tries again. I pull the keys out of the ignition, undo my seatbelt, open the door, and hurl his keys as far as I possibly can into a field.
He starts cursing at me and how this wasn’t even his car and blah blah blah. I just laughed and then I left. He tried texting me again afterward, but I ignored him.
17. Women Aren’t Vending Machines
On my 21st birthday we were in the club and I’d had a little too much to drink. I went up to the bar for some water, but it was packed so I just asked a dude who was about to be served if he could grab me some water with his drink. He did and I said thanks and went back to dancing with my friends.
About 15 minutes later, he just walks over and hands me a drink that isn’t water, and walks off again before I can explain that I’m done drinking or can even say thanks. I ended up just giving it to a male friend and forgetting about it for the rest of the night.
It hits 3 AM and the club kicks everybody out and as I’m standing outside waiting for my boyfriend to appear with our bags, I’m approached by mystery drink dude. He just walks right up to me and goes, “So are you coming back to my place tonight then?”
I laughed and was like “ARE YOU FOR REAL?” and he got mad. He genuinely thought I owed it to him to go home with him because he bought me a drink I didn’t want. I tried to chill him out and explain that I was actually out with my boyfriend and he got even more mad that I hadn’t mentioned that until now. Bear in mind our only interaction was when I asked him for water. And now suddenly I’m a lying, manipulative person who leads men on for my own gains and then denies them the intimacy they are owed.
Apparently, women are like vending machines and all you have to do it put drinks in and you get intimacy out.
16. Captain Rebound Has No Clue
My boyfriend of four years had just broken up with me and I was devastated.
I had a guy friend in college with whom I was pretty close, so two days after the break up he asks me to hang out and get my mind off of it. We went to a chain restaurant for dinner, and I found it odd that he kept insisting on paying — same thing for the movie we went to. I insisted he shouldn’t, but he just whips out his card and pays.
Lo and behold, later that night he tries to make a move, eventually pretty much asking for intimacy. His reasoning? “You could at least give me something, I mean I took you out to dinner and a movie.”
Gee, thanks. That’s exactly what I want after I was betrayed by the love of my life two days ago: you betraying our friendship to try to get with me.
15. NGs Always Reveal Themselves
Someone I knew and trusted grabbed me when I was 17. I thought I was confiding this in a long-term friend, but then he told me: “I don’t understand how you got to that point with him. But you and I hang out all the time and haven’t gotten close.”
14. A Genuine Nice Guy For The Road
I could give 20 examples off the top of my head where a Nice Guy encounter got crappy really quickly, but the one I like to remember most was the one genuinely nice one.
I sat in a bar/restaurant reading my book and waiting for my friend when Genuinely Nice Guy comes over:
GNG: Hi, I’m sorry to interrupt your book. My name’s GNG. I guess you’re probably waiting for someone but wondered if I could possibly buy you a drink in the meantime?
Me: Thank you, GNG, I’m squeakywheel0703. It’s nice to meet you but I already have a drink and a boyfriend so I’d rather not, if that’s okay.
GNG: Hey no worries at all — he’s a lucky guy. It was lovely to meet you. Have a great rest of your day.
And he disappeared back to his table, my friend arrived, we had lunch and other than a quick wave as he left the restaurant about 30 mins later, that was the end.
That was literally 10 years ago and I still remember it because it was the one time someone approached me in public and didn’t make me feel awkward or scared or encroached upon. He had a chill vibe, accepting and polite and no it didn’t make me reconsider, but I remember thinking what a nice bloke and how great a guy he would be for someone.
13. Leave The Teller A-Loan
I used to work for a bank. We had this customer come in frequently, he was in his late sixties. He would always give me a compliment when he came in once a week. It started with just casual stuff like, “Oh that’s a cute scarf; it makes your eyes stand out.” Or ,”Hey, I have that exact coffee mug. We must be two peas in a pod! HAR HAR.”
I always brushed it off because it was a quick comment and he also had a shared account with his wife. While I was working there, I ended up getting pregnant. I hadn’t started showing yet and his comments started to increase. He came in twice a week now and always waited for my window. He’d comment things like, “Oh my, if I was 30 years younger I’d snatch you up in a heartbeat. You’re looking so gorgeous. ISN’T SHE BEAUTIFUL?!” This would go on the entire transaction.
Now, I wasn’t comfortable with conveying to people I hardly know (especially customers) personal details of my life. But in this case, I end up casually bringing up that I did have a boyfriend and I highlighted how happy we were together. He didn’t say one word the rest of his transition. When he left he was visibly upset.
I really wish that was the end of this story but it wasn’t. I didn’t see him for a week. Then he came back like nothing had happened. Now he started visiting us three days a week. The comments got more assertive, and my boss was listening in on them whenever he came in. She’d try to direct him to her window but he’d just point at me, smile, and wait. He’d say things like, “If you and your boyfriend don’t work out, I’d treat you good.” Just remember this man has a wife.
When I did start showing, he brought it up. I told him that I was indeed pregnant. He didn’t stop. My boss tried to put an end to it. At first, she’d let me go file things when he came in so he was forced to see another teller. He’d ask where I was and they’d tell him I was filing papers. Tellers would say he looked mad and wasn’t as talkative with them.
Finally, my boss just told the guy that the comments he was making were upsetting me and gave him a warning. He still didn’t stop. He ended up making a very clear advancement at me even after my manager had just told him to stop. She got clearance from her area manager to have him banned from our location. She called and he screamed at her saying he’ll “do whatever [he] bloody well pleases” and asked to speak with me. His request was denied. He then back-pedalled and tried to get them to allow him to come back to the branch. She told him he was lucky they weren’t closing his account with his wife on it.
I never saw him again.
12. When Entitlement Becomes Violent
He asked for my number after buying me a drink (I didn’t know him or even notice him until he walked up with a drink in hand). I said I was in a relationship (I was) and he started ranting and raving about how when “a nice guy buys you a drink, you give him the time of day.” I got up and started walking away, he threw the bottle at me.
11. High School Never Ends
First guy I ever dated; we were around 15. I told him I was still figuring things out and wanted to take things slow. He showed up with a dozen roses on our second date. I told him it was too much, and I was uncomfortable, but he refused to take them back. We hung out a few times, but I just wasn’t that into him. I said I didn’t want to keep dating; we should just be friends. He said okay but then gave me a “goodbye” book that he’d hidden jewelry inside, and he refused to take that back, too. If he texted, I kept things friendly and jokey, never saying anything romantic. I tried to avoid him and even sent him a garbage poem as only teen me could write to tell him to forget about me because I liked someone else (which was true).
Sometime later, it’s prom season. He asks another girl, then finds out I haven’t been asked yet, so he offers to dump her for me. I say it won’t be fair to her and refuse. (I also really don’t want to go with him, but I’m too scared to say this to his face.) He’s super angry at prom because I went with a guy he hated (And that guy turned out later to be a jerk, but oh well. Still wouldn’t have driven me into my first date’s arms).
Years later, when we are both in college, I go home for a reunion. A girl asks me, “Hey, first date used to talk to me about you. I always wondered, why were you leading him on?”
10. A Venti Nice Guy With Extra Salt
I’m a barista. I had a regular ask me out a while back. He’s kind of a creepy guy who has a reputation for being a “starer” and likes to try to make smalltalk with the women there even when they’re obviously busy doing their jobs. I try to avoid talking to him as much as I can but he seems mostly harmless.
When I rejected him, he went on this tirade about how all women are shallow and I only turned him down because he’s a bigger fellow. Note that I’m engaged and wear a ring, so he was barking up the wrong tree in the first place.
I basically told him that he was the shallow one because he only asked me out because he thinks I’m pretty, given that I’m not even nice to him. That shut him up.
9. Stalker On Aisle Five
I had a guy stalk me at the store I work in. I work alone, too, which made the whole thing creepier. He’d come in occasionally and stay there for an HOUR. Even if someone else would come in, he’d just drift around the store until they left then keep talking to me. I was like 22 at the time and he was easily in his late 30s.
One time, I came into the shop and my coworker asked if I knew this dude. I was like uh, no, why?
“Because he comes in every day and is asking when you work.”
So, next time he comes in, he asks me out on a date. I say sorry, no. I have a boyfriend. Then he goes on a thirty-minute rant about how women hate him, how he’s recently divorced, lonely, etc. He was full on guilt tripping me as if it was my fault I was in a happy, committed relationship.
8. It Starts Early
In high school, I used to sit at a lunch table with some kids a year older than me. One guy, in particular, was really nice to me, bringing me into the conversation and making an effort to include me. We would often all play cards.
One day he decided to place a bet on the card game — if he wins, I go out to a movie with him. I was on the spot with a table full of people looking at me so I was like “Oh, sure.” Of course, I lost the game.
I decide later in the day to let him know I would rather not go to the movies but maybe we can do something all as a group. He explodes in the hallway, screams that nobody should ever touch me ever.
Two weeks later he cornered me in the lunch room while I was throwing away my food, and shook me by the shoulders and told me I was ruining his life. It took two guys to pry him off of me.
7. A Slow Grinding Halt
He picked me up and took me to the beach to get me out of my head and not be alone with myself after my friend took their own life. When I turned away to stare out at the ocean and he came up behind me and started grabbing me. I told him to stop and that I wanted to go home as this was just making my mood worse. When we get to my house, he comes in for a hug goodbye and immediately pulls my face up to his and tries to full on make out with me. Thanks for ruining a kind gesture with the assumption of getting intimate when I am grieving my friend’s death.
6. Persistence Is Only Cute In Rom-Coms
I went to a pub quiz with my friends. Arriving a little late, I found they’d all arrived and had drinks, so I nipped over to the bar to buy myself one.
A man at the bar pushed between me and the next customer and told me to put my money away because he’d be buying my drinks tonight. I said thanks for the offer but no thanks, I was out with friends. He promptly asked where my boyfriend was and why he wasn’t with me. I told him we didn’t always do everything together and we each had our own friends and interests. Dude goes, “He’ll regret that because now I’m here to look after you. I’m a nice guy, I’ll stand by you, I won’t let you go out alone and I’ll buy all your drinks.” Another no thanks from me, but he kept insisting he was going to buy my drink.
Finally, the bartender got to me and I ordered my drink. I had some money ready to give him but Mr. Nice Guy ripped it out of my hand and tore it to pieces before I could react.
“There,” he said triumphantly, “now you HAVE to let me buy your drink. I said I would, I’m nice like that.” He then insisted that because he was buying I was then obliged to have that particular drink in his company.
This all happened in front of staff who sort of laughed an apology and said: “Yeah, that’s just what he’s like.” Considering they hadn’t barred him as a result, I never went back.
5. The Face(Book) Snatcher
I had a class with this guy. We worked on a project together in my first year of university; he confided in me about some of his issues and I felt really bad for him.
He sat beside me in class and started messaging me every day, and it was honestly exhausting. I told him I had issues of my own so I wasn’t the best person to talk to, and he should seek out a counsellor, etc.
Over the next few years, he started coming up to me more in person in common areas of the campus. I’d politely tell him I had stuff to do and I’d rather work alone, so he’d sit beside me silently until I’d leave. I found him following me around campus on multiple occasions, too. I started to realize I should probably limit messaging him back even if it was to tell him “leave me alone” so I wasn’t giving him something to hold on to. So I started outright ignoring his daily hellos as much as it made me feel bad.
About a year later, in the fourth year class we took together, he kept turning around and staring at me — I swear, every 30 seconds. He did it so much that other people in the class started asking me about it. Then one day we were supposed to get up and pitch an idea for a video. He gets up there, pitches his idea then PULLS UP AN IMAGE OF MY FACE and says, “I want her to play the lead part,” as he clicks through a couple more slides of pictures stolen off Facebook.
I was mortified. I’m a very quiet and shy student so I had no idea what to do. I just slunk down in my seat and prayed no one looked at me. After that, a good guy friend of mine talked to the guy and told him he was making me uncomfortable. He seemed to get the message after that — probably because it was another guy saying it.
He never got outright aggressive but his behavior was definitely upsetting to me. I even started to get scared he was following me home so I never listened to music on the bus or on my walk. On multiple occasions I did tell him that I didn’t want to talk, that he was making me uncomfortable, that I had a boyfriend etc., but I should have just been mean to send a clear message.
Could I have handled it better? Sure, but I didn’t want to be rude to him because he was clearly troubled.
4. That Won’t Win Her Over, Bro
I’ve had multiple run-ins with Nice Guys, but one that really stands out to me happened when I was in my early teens.
I started talking to him because his seat was across from mine in class, and he was easy to talk to. After about a week, he sent me multiple long Facebook poems about how I’m the most beautiful girl he’s ever met, and how meeting me has changed his life. Not through a private message, but posted on my wall. At the time, I knew that stuff was wrong on multiple levels but didn’t really know WHY, so I kind of ignored how creepy it was altogether.
I shot him a private message and told him in the best way I could that I didn’t feel that way about him, but I thought the poems were lovely and appreciated it. He flipped out on me, accusing me of using him and leading him on, which actually guilted me into going on a date with him because I really did feel awful. The date was awkward, I couldn’t get into it, or him. We barely talked and he would barely even look me in the eye!
I told him the same night I didn’t think we could be more than friends and… the next day he spread awful rumors about me. When I STILL wouldn’t date him after those rumors had spread, he basically went on a Facebook rampage about how women pass on nice guys like him constantly.
Yeah. Fun times.
3. This Isn’t A Good Ending
Got intimate with a guy in college casually a couple of times. It was all good and we were friendly in passing although we didn’t hang out.
Then we were at the bar and he wanted me to come home with him again. I told him no (I meant not right that minute because I was having fun with my friends) and he spit his gum in my face. I said something like, “Yeah, that’ll make me want to sleep with you,” and turned to walk away. Then he threw his nearly full drink can at the back of my head. It hurt but thankfully didn’t get much on me.
Our friends separated us and all I had to deal with after that was him staring me down in class the rest of the semester. Now I wish I’d pressed charges for assault but he ended up leaving school after that year and I’ve never seen him again.
I was going to say all’s well that ends well but that’s wrong. It ended when he assaulted me.
2. It Wasn’t A Kid Pic
My kids were all best friends with a neighbor’s kids who were the exact same ages. I hung out with their dad since we were both stay-at-home parents.
One day he asks me if I want to see a photo he took. I say sure, imagining it was a funny kid-friendly meme or whatever.
Instead, he shows me a freaking nude pic. I guess he just wanted to show me where his kids came from. Yuck.
1. Nice Guys And Their Ultimatums
A Nice Guy had a huge crush on our mutual friend, but the feelings weren’t returned. They never dated — this is important to the story. He was still interested and still is. I managed to get dragged into this as both sides were talking to me about the situation.
Recently, our friend got a very small tattoo on her arm and Nice Guy freaks out. “What is that thing on your arm? Is it temporary? Are you going to keep it? I’m sorry I can’t deal with this now.”
Friend is confused and upset. They end up talking again and he says: “Either remove it or I won’t be your friend anymore. I can’t be friends with anyone who has body art. I’ll even give you money towards it, just consider what I said.”
Friend then talks to me about it, I try to get Nice Guy to change his mind but he says he won’t budge. She makes peace with her decision that they won’t be friends anymore. He then turns around and is shocked she chose to keep the tattoo and kept saying, “This is the only thing I’ll ask you to do.”
I guess he finally realized she didn’t want to be friends with him anymore; but then he changed his mind again and decided he still wanted to be friends because blackmailing her to remove the tattoo didn’t work. This guy honestly believed that she’d remove the tattoo for him. He now blames me for this mess and demanded I fix it. Naturally, I ghosted and haven’t bothered with him since.