The Wild World of American Litigation
While the legal system is designed to provide justice for legitimate grievances, it also occasionally serves as a stage for disputes over spilled coffee, mystical beings, and even personal resemblance. It’s pretty shocking some of the stories and scandals that made their way into these courts. With that in mind, here are some of the most bizarre and humorous examples of American legal battles that actually happened.
1. The Case of the Monkey Selfie
You might think a monkey taking a photo is just a cute internet moment, but it actually led to a massive federal copyright battle. When a macaque named Naruto snapped a selfie using a photographer's unattended camera, PETA sued on the monkey's behalf to claim he owned the rights to the image. Ultimately, the court ruled that animals can't hold copyrights under U.S. law.
2. Suing Yourself for Religious Violations
In one of the most confusing legal moves ever, an inmate named Robert Lee Brock filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself. He claimed that he'd violated his own civil rights and religious beliefs by getting inebriated and committing the crimes that landed him in prison. Since he had no income as a prisoner, he expected the state to pay the damages on his behalf, but the judge predictably threw the case out for being totally absurd.
3. The $54 Million Pair of Pants
It started as a claim against the dry cleaners for less than $300, but it ended up costing Washington D.C.-based businessman Nathan Goldberg over $54 million and years of litigation. Nathan Goldberg filed suit against his local cleaners because an administrative judge alleged that his pants went missing at the cleaners, in violation of the “Satisfaction Guaranteed” statute. Goldberg lost.
4. Michael Jordan's Unfortunate Lookalike
An Oregon man sought $832 million from Jordan and Nike co-founder Phil Knight because they allegedly caused him “emotional distress and permanent injury” by sharing similar facial features. Derek Cubic sued after passing strangers and even Nike employees made fun of him for his resemblance to Jordan. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the lawsuit was dropped after Jordan filed for dismissal.
5. Red Bull's Lack of Real Wings
You’ve seen the commercials promising that the energy drink "gives you wings," but one man took that slogan a bit too literally. He sued the company for false advertising, claiming that after ten years of consumption, he still hadn't grown any wings or seen improved athletic performance. Surprisingly, Red Bull chose to settle the class-action suit for $13 million.
6. The Haunted House Was Too Scary
One woman was suing Universal Studios for compensation over the frightening attractions in its Halloween haunted houses. When the woman was knocked over by an actor with a chainsaw, she decided it went too far. Although the haunted house attractions are meant to be spooky, the suit claimed she suffered injuries.
7. Overly Enthusiastic Birthday Hugs
After receiving a tight squeeze from her eight-year-old nephew, a woman ended up fracturing her wrist and sued him for $127,000. During her nephew’s birthday party, the boy allegedly hugged her so tightly that she fell to the ground and hurt herself. Despite the initial judgment against the boy, jurors sided with the child two hours into deliberation.
8. Inebreiated
An over-served man decided to take a Florida strip club to court after he allegedly ran up an $18,000 bill in a single night. He argued that the club was at fault for getting him so intoxicated that he didn't realize how much money he was spending. It’s a bold move to blame the establishment for your own party habits.
9. A Lawsuit Against the Creator
Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers once filed a lawsuit against God, seeking an injunction to stop "destruction, and terrorization." He wanted to make a point about the legal system being open to everyone for any reason, but the case hit a major snag during the filing process. The judge dismissed the suit.
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10. The Missing Footlong Mystery
Subway found itself in a mountain of bread-related trouble when a teenager posted a photo of his "Footlong" sub next to a tape measure that showed it was only eleven inches. This sparked a massive class-action lawsuit from disgruntled sandwich fans. After years of legal battling, the chain eventually agreed to implement new quality controls.
11. Too Much Ice in the Coffee
If you've ever felt like your iced coffee was mostly just frozen water, you might relate to the person who sued Starbucks for $5 million. The lawsuit claimed the company was deceiving customers by filling a large portion of the cup with ice. A judge eventually dismissed the claim.
12. The Man Who Sued the Sun
In 2013, one man thought he should get paid every time someone enjoyed sunshine. He filed ownership documents with a state agency claiming the sun belongs to him. In addition to his formal claim on our star, he later sued multiple companies and media outlets for using sun imagery.
13. Fear Factor's Smoothie
Reality TV is known for being gross, but one viewer claimed a specific episode of Fear Factor made him physically ill just by watching it. He sued NBC for $2.5 million because the sight of contestants eating disgusting things emotionally hurt him. The judge didn't think the network was responsible for the viewer's reaction.
14. The Case of the Exploding Soda
It’s not often people sue after checking out of grocery stores, but one Florida resident alleged that a soda exploded in his mouth before he even paid for it. He claims that while waiting in line to pay for his groceries, a co-worker pulled out a soda can and it exploded all over him. The soda company was found not guilty.
15. Budweiser's False Tropical Promises
One person’s romantic fantasies weren’t exactly materializing. He alleged that every time he drank Bud Light, he saw commercials depicting beautiful women on beaches and decided to hold them liable for false advertising. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the court didn’t side with him.
16. The SAT Typo Bonus
A high school student in Long Island sued the College Board after she and her classmates were accidentally given five extra minutes on an SAT section due to a printing error. While you’d think extra time is a good thing, she argued the error made the test results invalid. The case highlighted how high the stakes can feel for college admissions.
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17. The Missing Junior Mints
Candy packaging can be deceiving, and one woman was so frustrated by the "slack fill" in her box of Junior Mints that she headed to court. She argued that the large amount of empty space in the box misled customers into thinking they were getting more chocolate-covered mints than were actually inside. This started a broader conversation about how much air is allowed to be in our snacks.
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18. Suing for a Bad Grade
Failing a class is a bummer, but one college student decided it was actually a legal injury worth suing her school over. After failing a specific nursing course twice, she sued the university, claiming they didn't do enough to help her succeed despite her known anxiety. The legal battle focused on whether a school is obligated to ensure a student passes.
19. The Velveeta Time Crunch
One woman sued the company that makes Velveeta over three-and-a-half minutes. According to the box of Velveeta shells & cheese, you can have your dinner ready in 3.5 minutes. She argued that this time frame wasn’t accurate.
20. The Pepsi Harrier Jet Fiasco
One of the most legendary contract cases began when a college student tried to "buy" a military fighter jet using Pepsi points. A commercial humorously listed a Harrier Jet for 7 million points, and the student actually raised the money to buy the equivalent points through a loophole in the rules. He sued when Pepsi refused to hand over the plane.
